And Other Fairly Stupid Tales
by Advocaat
Summary: A collection of humorous and crack-tastic oneshots corresponding to the days of Zutara Month.
1. Relief

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 1

Relief

"Katara."

"Hmm?"

"I don't think your grandmother likes me."

Katara looked up from the low table where she'd been rubbing salt onto strips of turtle-seal meat and met Zuko's eyes. "Why do you say that?"

"She's been looking at me weirdly ever since we got here," he told her, warily glancing around the room to make sure the woman in question wasn't around to overhear him. "I feel like she's constantly judging me."

"Oh, that's because she is."

Zuko was taken aback by the waterbender's nonchalant agreement. "What? Really?"

Katara shrugged. "Gran-Gran's like that. But don't worry, she'll eventually tell you what's on her mind."

* * *

The longer Zuko spent in the South Pole, the more convinced he became that Kanna did not care for him. No matter what he did, or where he went, she was there; silently staring.

She stared at him when he helped Sokka craft hunting spears.

She stared at him when he gave Toph piggyback rides across the snow.

She stared at him when he discussed war reparations with Hakoda.

She stared at him when he helped Katara clear snow away from the entrance of the newly built Chief's Hut.

She stared at him when he chatted with his friends.

She stared at him when he passed her in the hallway.

She stared at him _especially_ hard whenever they sat down for meals.

"Hey Zuko, did you want another whale-kabob?" Katara asked, proffering up the platter.

Zuko shook his head. "No, that's alright, I'm-" he caught sight of Kanna's face, her droopy old eyelids radiating disapproval, and he hastily reconsidered. "Actually, I think I will have another, thanks."

She also stared at him especially hard when he practiced his firebending with Aang, which was what he was doing at present.

Zuko shifted uncomfortably as the old woman's eyes drilled into his bare back. He had made it a part of Aang's training to practice regulating his own body temperature in the frigid antarctic climate, and thus, they had all their lessons shirtless. Katara watched as well, sitting next to her grandmother at the edge of the bending field.

He tried to ignore both of them as he flipped out of the way of one of Aang's blasts and spun on his arms, whipping his legs around to send a large wave of fire back at his young pupil.

He heard Kanna mutter something, followed by an aghast cry of "Gran-Gran!" from Katara.

Unable to help himself, Zuko turned his head around to see what they were doing. Kanna was watching her granddaughter with a smug expression on her face, and Katara was holding her flaming red cheeks, looking positively mortified. What were they talking about?

His attention was abruptly returned to his opponent when the heel of Aang's foot connected hard with his solar plexus. Right over his barely healed lightning wound. He crumpled to the ground with a strangled yelp and curled up into the fetal position, clutching his midsection.

"Zuko! Are you okay?" Aang cried, falling to his knees beside him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you there."

Zuko just groaned and rolled onto his back in the snow, panting hard.

"What happened?" Katara called as she rushed over, concern written all over her face.

"I accidentally kicked him in his lightning scar," Aang explained guiltily.

"I'm okay," Zuko gasped out, "I just got distracted for a moment and didn't see his attack."

Katara put her hands on her hips and glowered down at both of them. "You!" she said, pointing at Aang, "Just where were you aiming? You need to be more careful!"

Aang shied away from her, looking even more guilty.

"And _you_!" she rounded on Zuko, "What were you thinking? Sparring when you're still this injured! You told me it didn't hurt anymore!"

"It was fine before Aang kicked it," he protested. "...Mostly."

"Argh!" Katara threw up her hands and both boys cowered beneath her ire.

At Katara's direction, Zuko was hoisted up, her and Aang each taking one of his arms, and half-carried back to the Chief's hut.

"What happened?" Suki asked as they came through the front door, followed by Kanna.

"Boys!" Katara huffed in response as they passed.

Zuko was brought back to his room and deposited on the bed.

"Aang, go heat some water," Katara instructed brusquely.

"Yes ma'am!" he responded quickly before rushing from the room.

She watched him leave and then turned back to Zuko. "I'm going to go grab some bandages, just in case. Don't you even think about moving until I get back." She pegged him with a warning glare before exiting herself.

It was just him and Gran-Gran then. All alone.

He slowly turned his head to look at the older woman. Kanna stared back wordlessly, her half-lidded eyes intent on his person, her withered old lips pulled down in a frown.

He stared at her.

She stared back.

His eyes flickered briefly away and then back to her.

Hers didn't waver.

The minutes dragged on. Where were Aang and Katara? Shouldn't they be back by now?

Zuko's suspicion that Kanna really didn't like him grew stronger with each passing second. That look on her face was clearly disapproval.

The thought that Katara's – and Sokka's – grandmother didn't care for him dismayed him more than a little. What if her not liking him caused her grandchildren to dislike him as well? Moreover, this was the woman Katara respected the most in the entire world. He had a feeling that if she came out and told Katara directly that she didn't approve of him, Katara would take her words seriously and possibly distance herself from him.

Zuko's anxiety rose. He didn't want that.

He met the elderly woman's eyes again with panic. His friendship with Katara – a friendship he'd worked his royal hiney off to gain, and valued greatly – was riding on this woman's opinion of him.

Kanna just stared back.

He couldn't take much more of this. Maybe it would be best just to ask her himself what her problem with him was. Katara had said that she'd eventually tell him, but it had been days, and she hadn't uttered so much as a word to him. This was the perfect opportunity to raise the issue with her. If she wasn't going to tell him now, she probably wasn't going to tell him at all.

It was at that moment, that Kanna finally deigned to speak to him.

"Fire Lord Zuko," she said in her gravelly, stoic voice.

Zuko straightened up as best he could, lying on a bed, and answered, "Yes, Honorable Grandmother?"

Kanna's eyes swept over him briefly before returning to his own. "You're too skinny. You'll need to put some meat on those bones if you're going to provide me with healthy great grandchildren."

Relief washed over him. So she didn't dislike him after all! She just thought he–

The implication in her statement hit him, and he shot up into a sitting position. "Wait, what?" However, the quick movement aggravated his wound and he fell back down with a string of curses. By the time he was able to see straight again, the old woman was gone.

* * *

As Kanna walked leisurely away down the icy hallway, she heard her granddaughter's voice from the room she'd just left. "Zuko, what's up with you're face? Do you have fever or– Ah! I told you not to move!"

Her face split into a grin and she cackled.

* * *

Happy Zutara Month, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed _Relief_. Not the most quality piece of work, but hey, that's not the point. I'm going to try and write something for as many of the days as I can, between working on the next chapter of TCA and the demands of teH rEaL wOrld.

Also, I apologize, but there will be no stinky cheese men in this collection. Only other fairly stupid tales. (and a few very stupid tales)

Join me tomorrow for Day 2, Luminous: in which Zuko attempts to be suave.


	2. Luminous

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 2

Luminous

"I'm not going to say that, Sokka."

"C'mon, buddy. You wanted my help and I'm giving to you. I promise this will work."

"You're crazy!"

"Trust me. I know my sister. She'll be _all over_ you."

"I don't want her all over me! I just want her to not hate me."

"Shh. You don't know what you want."

"Wha– Yes I do!"

"No, shhh."

"Stop that!"

* * *

Zuko couldn't believe he was really about to do this. Why had he gone to Sokka for advice? He should've gone to Aang, or Toph, or Suki; even Katara's father would've been a better choice. As it was, he felt more like he was going in to _woo_ Katara than ask for her forgiveness.

Peering in through the entrance to the temple's common area, he immediately spotted the waterbender sitting with Suki atop the fallen column on the left side of the platform. Just his luck, the rest of the group was there as well, all scattered into little groups around the place. Zuko took a deep breath and steeled himself before entering. He just had to trust that Sokka knew what he was doing.

Standing tall and straight, as a proper prince should, he strode up to the two girls with an air of confidence. Luckily, he'd become good at putting on airs in the couple months he'd spent back at home under his father's and sister's watchful eye. Katara and Suki both looked up at him as he approached, Suki with a curious look on her face, and Katara with her usual frosty glare. He stopped in front of Katara and gave her his best nonchalant smirk. "Hey."

"Can I help you?" Katara asked frigidly, narrowing her eyes.

Zuko didn't let her iciness deter him. He was on a mission. "Oh, no," he said, holding up his hands placatingly, "I just saw you sitting over here and thought I should tell you how stunning you look with the sunlight hitting your hair like that." He gestured at her crown, as if she could somehow see the top of her own head. Taking a leaf out of his uncle's teapot, he leaned in a little and added suavely, "You're positively luminous."

He heard Suki snicker and saw her cover her mouth out of the corner of his eye. He ignored her, keeping his eyes locked on the waterbender's.

Katara looked startled for all of a second and a half, then her eyes narrowed even further and her nostrils flared warningly. "You're not fooling anyone, Zuko. I'm not going to fall for any of your tricks."

Zuko was on unstable ground and he knew it, but he wouldn't back down. At least she was talking to him. That was more than he usually got. Mentally sifting through the arsenal of lines that Sokka had suggested for him, he put his hand over his heart and said, "You wound me, Katara. I was simply remarking on your radiance."

Katara did not look impressed.

"You shine brighter than the sun itself."

Her expression didn't change.

"Your eyes are like sapphires."

Her eyebrow twitched.

Zuko began to sweat slightly. He was running out of lines, and he could feel the gazes of the others as they stopped what they were doing to watch the scene play out. He was just wracking his brain again for anything to use, when he caught a flash of movement behind the girls. It was Sokka.

Sokka waved at him and held up a finger to his lips to mime silence. Then he reached down and grabbed a signboard, holding it up for Zuko to see.

"You are the most dazzling woman I have ever laid eyes on," he read aloud from the signboard. Sokka disappeared behind the broken column and reappeared a second later with another sign. "I want to father your children– SOKKA!"

Zuko's face flushed scarlet, and he looked back at Katara, completely mortified. Katara's cheeks were also a deep rosy color, but she looked on the edge of murder. Suki could no longer contain her laughter and began cracking up next to the incensed waterbender. The rest of the room followed suit, giggling and guffawing – and all other synonyms for laughing one's hindquarters off – at the blushing, irate pair.

Katara stood and whirled around, catching her brother as he tried to surreptitiously sneak away. "Both of you!" she shouted, casting her most menacing glare back and forth between them. "I can't believe you! You–"

While Katara told them off, the rest of the gaang attempted to rein in their laughter with mixed success. With a wide grin, Toph turned to Haru, who happened to be standing next to her, and said gleefully, "He wasn't lying."

* * *

And there's Day 2. I can't seem to resist having the other characters troll Zuko.

See you all tomorrow!


	3. Potential

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 3

Potential

"This one's cute," Suki remarked, setting the portrait on the ground with the others. "I bet he grew up to be a looker."

"What about this one?" Ty Lee asked, holding up another picture.

"I dunno. I feel like he's the type who'd grow a big bushy beard and order people around all day," Katara said as she examined the child in the picture.

"Most of the Fire Lords did that, though," Ty Lee pointed out.

A head poked around a bookshelf behind them. "What are the three of you doing in the royal library?" Sokka asked, stepping from behind the shelf with an armful of scrolls. Aang appeared beside him, also carrying scrolls.

Suki waved them over and they joined the circle, dropping their burden in a pile on a nearby chair. "We got bored, so we decided to look at childhood portraits of the old Fire Lords," she explained. "We're trying to guess which one's grew up to be the most handsome." She gestured to the rows of pictures laid out on the rug in the middle of the circle, alongside a gilded box containing even more.

Ty Lee pulled another portrait from the box and laid it down with the others. "How about him? He's pretty cute."

Aang shrugged. "He's okay. His eyes are kind of funny."

Sokka rubbed his chin. "I agree." He pointed to one of the pictures in the row above and said, "This one's better."

Katara leaned down to get a better look. "I think his eyes are kind of exotic."

Suki also leaned in for a better look. "I think he could go either way. It all depends on how the rest of his face matures."

Katara reached into the box for the next picture. Her eyebrows rose slightly when she saw the face of the boy on the paper. "Oh, this one's not bad at all," she remarked. I bet he grew up to be very man-pretty." She laid the picture down for the others to see.

Ty Lee's eyes lit up. "Ooh! He's just my type. I'll take him."

Aang looked around at them, confused. "Take him?"

"It's a game," Katara told him. "We each have to decide, based on these pictures, which Fire Lord we'd have an arranged marriage with."

"I see," Sokka said amusedly. "So, which one is that?" he asked, pointing the paper in Ty Lee's hand.

"No one's allowed to look at the name until everyone's made their selection," Suki informed him. "When we're done, we're going to take them to the royal gallery and compare 'results'."

"Sounds like fun," Aang announced brightly. "I want to draw the next one!" He grabbed around in the box and pulled a picture from near the bottom. He chuckled when he saw the face of the child, "This kid looks kind of like Bumi."

He set it down with the others, and the group fought the urge to cringe. "Um, I think I'll pass on him," Suki said, shaking her head.

"I know him," Ty Lee spoke up, "That's Fire Lord Rozu. He actually wasn't that bad when he got older."

"I'll take your word for it," Katara said, reaching into the box again. She looked at the picture and furrowed her eyebrows. "This one looks kind of familiar," she said thoughtfully.

"I think that's Fire Lord Azulon," Ty Lee said, leaning over for a closer look. "Though it could be Ozai. They looked a lot alike as kids."

Katara shuddered and hurriedly set the picture down.

The next boy was claimed by Suki –"This one has a charming face. I'll bet he grew up to be a real lady-killer," she said as she laid the portrait in front of her.

Sokka grinned. "Seems you have a thing for lady-killers," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. Suki smacked his arm affectionately.

Aang requested next pick, and the box was passed back to him. "Hey, this one's not bad," he remarked.

Sokka examined the picture over his shoulder. "Meh, a little on the girly side, if you ask me."

Katara took the portrait from him and looked at the solemn face of the child painted on the paper. "His facial structure _is_ quite delicate," she agreed, "But I think he has a lot of potential. Boys like this usually end up being really handsome."

Ty Lee glanced at the picture and her eyebrows rose.

"Do you recognize him?" Katara asked the acrobat curiously.

Ty Lee giggled. "Yeah. He turned out very... unique looking."

Katara smiled down at the picture. "Unique, huh? Well, I suppose if I had to marry someone, I'd pick a person with a bit of flair in their appearance. I'll take this one."

Their choices made, they put away the other pictures and Sokka and Aang grabbed their scrolls before exiting the library and heading for the royal gallery.

When they got there, they found Zuko and his uncle in the middle of a discussion. Both looked up upon the rather large group's arrival.

Iroh grinned widely as he and his nephew walked over to greet them. "Welcome, what brings so many young faces to this magnificent hall of history?"

"Sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt," Katara told him apologetically.

"Nonsense. My nephew and I were simply discussing ideas for his own portrait. It's about time the new Fire Lord took his place among his family's legacy, wouldn't you say?"

Katara grinned at Zuko. "You're getting a picture done? That's exciting."

Zuko looked less than thrilled. "I guess."

"Anyway," Sokka said, pushing his way to the front of the herd, "We're here to find the portraits of the Fire Lords in these pictures." He gestured to the pieces of parchment in the girls' hands.

"Perhaps I can be of assistance," Iroh offered cordially, "Might I inquire as to why?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really. Just a silly game," Katara answered embarrassedly.

"They were looking through pictures of past Fire Lords as children and trying to guess which ones grew up to be the hottest," Sokka said frankly. "They each picked the one they'd want to marry in a hypothetical situation where, for no adequately explored reason, their only options were crown princes of the Fire Nation."

Rather than look at them like they were crazy, like Katara expected him to do, Iroh clapped his hands together and said, with a grin, "Delightful. And whose affianced shall we locate first?"

"Ooh! Me me me!" Ty Lee exclaimed, jumping up and down with her hand in the air. "I've got–" she flipped her picture over and frowned, "–That's weird, it just has a number 47 written on it."

"Ah, the 47th king of the Fire Nation; Fire Lord Bora," Iroh identified, "His portrait is right over here." The retired general led them a short ways down the vast hall and stopped before a picture of a tall, squared man with a strong jaw and smooth features.

Ty Lee squealed. "Oh! I just knew he would be my type."

"He is handsome," Katara admitted, looking up at the larger than life painting. "He kind of reminds me of Haru."

Zuko, who had come up next to her as they walked, looked up at his ancestor with a small scowl. "He's not that handsome," he grumbled lowly.

"Okay, my turn," Suki announced. She flipped over her picture and read, "53."

Iroh lead them six portraits over. "The 53rd king of the Fire Nation; Fire Lord Rorin."

The man pictured before them was a bit shorter than the previous Fire Lord, but there was an air about him that spoke of easy-going confidence. "He's cute, Ty Lee commented cheerfully.

"Fire Lord Rorin had quite the reputation with the ladies," the old prince said with a wink.

Suki smirked. "I knew it."

"He looks like a nice person," Katara commented, "The kind of guy who'd be fun to be around."

Suki nodded in approval. "I could marry him."

"Hey!" Sokka exclaimed indignantly.

It was Katara's turn now, and she smirked confidently. "Okay, your men were pretty good," she said dismissively, "But my husband is going to beat the pants off both of yours."

"You mean your girly-man?" Sokka teased, nudging Aang, who grinned along with him.

Katara crossed her arms. "You just wait. I know potential when I see it. This boy was destined to be beautiful."

Zuko scoffed. "It's not like you're actually going to marry him."

Somewhere behind them, Ty Lee sniggered.

Katara humphed and turned to Iroh as she brought up her picture and flipped it over. "Mine is number 67," she stated proudly.

Iroh's eyebrows rose, much in the same way Ty Lee's had, but he swiftly lowered them again, gaving her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, my dear, but we don't have a portrait for the 67th Fire Lord."

Katara looked back at him with disappointment.

"However, I am sure that your intended would be more than happy to have one done for you, wouldn't you, my nephew?"

Katara's eyes widened and she whirled around. "You?"

Sokka grinned widely. "No way! You chose _Zuko_?" He burst into wild laughter, slapping his knee for effect, "Oh, that's too good!"

Suki and Aang began laughing as well, and Ty Lee smiled sunnily. "Your auras _are_ very compatible," she informed Katara cheerfully.

Katara's "intended" stood frozen, gawping at her, a fierce blush spread over his cheeks.

"So, Zuko's your type?" Suki asked grinning slyly.

Katara shook her head, "What? Of course not! I could never marry Zuko. I-"

"Don't even bother, Sweetness!" Toph's voice called from an adjoining room.

* * *

Again with Toph. (I wonder what she was doing that whole time. *shrug*)

Well, now Zuko and Katara are hypothetically engaged. Perhaps they will serve petit fours at their hypothetical wedding. Mmmm.

Stop by again tomorrow for Day 4: Change. (I'm super pumped about this one!)

Ciao for now!


	4. Change

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 4

Change

Warning: Rating is going up a bit for this one.

Ember Island (100 ASC)

Three weeks before the return of Sozin's Comet

* * *

"Hey, Zuko?"

Zuko looked up from his sharpening stone at the waterbender sitting on the step next to him. "Yes?"

"I've been wondering, what's up with that old well behind the house? Why don't we get drinking water from there, rather than having me purify the water from the fountain?"

Zuko frowned slightly. "Actually, I don't know," he told her with a shrug. "We've never used that well. Uncle used to tell Azula and me that there was an evil spirit living in it that would gobble us up if we got too close."

Katara chuckled at that. "I'm surprised Azula didn't open it up just because he said not to."

Zuko smiled. "No, she thought that Uncle told us that so that we _would_ open it, so she never did."

"Your family is something else," Katara said, shaking her head. "Well, spirit or no spirit, if that water's drinkable, I'd prefer to use it. I'm tired of having to cleanse fountain water every time I want a drink."

Zuko nodded and sheathed his swords, electing to go with her. He always had been curious about that well.

The well itself was a dilapidated old thing; all overgrown with weeds and worn away by the briny ocean air. The wooden lid was mostly obscured by moss, and there were even a few plants trying to grow on top.

Katara walked up to it and felt around the edges of the lid, looking for a clear spot to lift. "Ready to meet your spirit?" she asked, casting a grin in his direction.

"Positively ecstatic," he answered with an amused smile.

Katara curled her fingers under the edge of the lid and heaved. The thick wood didn't budge. "Urk, it's stuck," she called, trying again to no avail. Seeing that his help was necessary, Zuko got into position next to her and grabbed the old wood. Together they strained until finally, with a loud _shwick_, the lid popped off and slid to the ground at the foot of the well.

"Gah! The light! It _buuuuurns_!"

They both jumped back and nearly fell in a heap as Zuko tripped over a dislodged stone and Katara stumbled into him. Luckily, Zuko managed to find his footing and catch her before they both wound up in the mud.

"Aaaaah!" the unholy wail continued, reverberating up through the well, "Why would you do that? I can't see! I– oh, hold on, my eyes are adjusting."

The two benders looked at each other in bafflement and then back at the well, where the voice had originated.

"Okay, I'm good, I'm good. I'll just... come out slowly. Little bits at a time, that's it." The words were accompanied by the sound of something dragging along the inner wall of the well, working its way upward. A moment later, a bizarre looking greenish-colored scaly frog-like creature popped out over the top, facing away from them. "Alright, who opened the lid?" The creature turned its head around and caught sight of them. "Oh, it's just a couple of brats. Whaddya want? I'm very busy."

The two of them shared another glance before Katara stepped forward and said, "Um, who are you?"

The creature looked somewhat offended. "Who am I? What, you never seen a wishing well before?"

"Not one that had strange, talking frogs living in it."

"Frog? Madam, I am a _toad_."

"Right, sorry."

"Now then, since you clearly don't know anything, allow me to explain. I am Shenlong, the spirit of this wishing well. Since the two of you found me, I'll grant you one wish."

"Really? Anything we want?" she asked excitedly.

"At my discretion," Shenlong told her flatly. "I don't do crap like "make me rich and famous" or "help me find true love". That's boring."

"Can you help us defeat my father?" Zuko tried hopefully.

"Your father?" the spirit asked, cocking its head to the side, "Oh, you're the Fire Lord's sprout. Look kid, I'd like to help you, but I'm not a deus ex machina. That's lion-turtle work."

"Then what _do_ you do?" Katara asked, putting her hands on her hips and arching her eyebrow at it.

The toad held up a webbed hand and began ticking off on its fingers. "I can predict the future, transport you instantly to a faraway place, make great lasagna... Look, I do all sorts of nifty stuff. Maybe there's something you've always wondered about, or wanted to try?"

Katara touched her chin thoughtfully. "I've always wondered what it would be like to bend a different element."

"There! Now _that_, I can work with. What about you, boy?"

Zuko paused and thought for a moment. Trying another bending actually sounded like a pretty good idea. "My uncle told me that he learned how to redirect lightning by studying waterbenders. Maybe if I become one for a while, it will help me figure out how to generate it."

Katara's eyes lit up. "Being a firebender would help me understand my enemies better." She put a hand on Zuko's shoulder and smiled up at him. "Maybe I can learn enough to help you with your lightning."

"So, the two of you want to try each other's bending, eh?"

They nodded.

"Splendid. It shall be done. Now, if you'll both excuse me, I need to find a new well. Can't have everyone knowing where I am." The spirit waved its arms and a small cloud appeared before it. As they watched, it hopped onto the cloud and rose into the air. "That wish will last for one day," it called down to them, "Enjoy!"

With a parting wave, Shenlong and his cloud sped off into the wild blue yonder.

Zuko looked at Katara and Katara looked back at him. "Sooo," he said, breaking the awkward silence that had settled over them, "Can you firebend now?"

She shrugged. "I don't feel any different."

Zuko held out his hand and summoned a small flame. "I'm still a firebender."

"Maybe it takes a while to kick in?" she suggested.

Zuko looked doubtful. "Or maybe that spirit was full of crap."

Taking another look at the well, the two of them agreed to just abandon the water idea. Neither of them were particularly interested in drinking it anymore.

oO0Oo

* * *

Katara woke the next morning feeling strangely energized. She sat up and stretched her arms above her head, stifling a yawn. Glancing out the large window by her bedside, she spotted the first rays of the sun over the eastern horizon.

She took a moment to enjoy the sunrise. She usually wasn't up early enough to see it, and even if she was, her window wasn't–

Waitaminute. Her room didn't have an East facing window.

Confused, Katara looked around the spacious, ornately decorated bedroom and realization hit her like a boomerang to the face. _I'm in Zuko's room_.

She wracked her brain for any memory that would explain why on earth she'd woken in Zuko's bed of all places. She clearly remembered returning to her own room and falling asleep in her own bed, so unless she'd spontaneously become a sleepwalker last night, she was pretty sure she could rule out any personal accountability. Was this some kind of practical joke? –But Zuko wasn't really the pranking type... Maybe Sokka was the one who...? But then, where was Zuko?

Shoving the light summer blanket off her, she twisted around and swung her legs over the side of the bed, feeling the cool wooden floor with her toes. "Zuko?" she called softly, wincing at the sound of her voice, low and rough from disuse. There was no response. She got to her feet and padded over to the adjoining bathroom–was the ceiling a little lower in Zuko's room?–to wash her face. She absently flexed her hips a bit as she walked, trying to loosen the muscles a little. Her body felt oddly cumbersome this morning.

She nearly had the fright of her life when she entered the bathroom and found Zuko already in there, dressed only in his scarlet pants. He looked back at her with equal shock. Did he not realize that she was in his room? "I'm sorry, I thought nobody in h-" her voice trailed off as she realized what she was looking at. Tentatively, she raised her right hand to her ear, and Zuko did the same. Dread settled in her stomach. She ran her hand through her hair and Zuko mimicked her perfectly. Her breath caught as she ran out of hair far too quickly.

She suppressed the urge to scream.

oO0Oo

* * *

Zuko awoke feeling strangely groggy. Usually the rising sun filled him with energy, but today he had to battle with lingering drowsiness. Yawning, he lifted his covers and dragged himself out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His left hand froze when instead of encountering thick scar tissue, as it had every day for the past three years, his fingers ran over smooth, unmarred skin. His right eye widened, and he was shocked further when his left eye followed suit.

Quickly jumping out of bed, he barely noticed that the room he woke up in wasn't his own as he sped to the bathroom. He nearly toppled over as he carelessly distributed his wight over his legs incorrectly, but managed to catch himself on a nearby dresser. Weird, he hadn't been this clumsy in years. Pulling the door to the bathroom open with more force than was necessary, he rushed over to the mirror hanging above the sink.

Zuko's first thought when he saw the face staring back at him was that someone, possibly Sokka, had been hit with a sudden urge to remodel in the middle of the night and had replaced the mirror with a window connecting to the next room over, because why else would he be staring into Katara's shocked face right now instead of his own? His second thought was that _his_ bathroom had a _full-length_ mirror.

Holding his breath, he brought his hands up to his face again and laid his fingers over his cheeks. As expected, Katara's image did the same. Zuko exhaled and dragged his hands down over his neck and collarbones until they encountered the soft swell of breasts. He immediately stopped their descent, gulping audibly. _This is a dream_, he told himself evenly, _It's just like that time in Ba Sing Se._

He shakily turned around and performed some controlled breathing exercises. When he felt sufficiently in calm, turned back around and looked at his reflection again.

Grabbing a folded towel from the pile next to the sink, he held it against his face and screamed.

oO0Oo

* * *

Katara stumbled out of the bathroom, fighting to not hyperventilate. She plopped down on the edge of Zuko's bed and tried to compose herself. Okay, so she was Zuko now. She just had to stay calm and think about this rationally and–

_Sweet spirits, I'm a man._

She got to her feet again and began pacing frantically, her mind whirling with panic. She touched her now flat and hard chest before moving to grip her narrow hips and– Great sages, there was something she really didn't want to think about resting against the inside of her right thigh.

_There's a perfectly logical explanation for this,_ she told herself, trying to pull her mind back on track, _There's-_ Her thought process came to a halt when she heard a muffled scream come from the room next door. Her room.

Her good eye widened. _Hold on, if I'm Zuko, then is Zuko_...

She bolted to the door and out into the hallway.

* * *

Zuko nearly jumped out of his skin – Katara's skin, rather – when he saw himself barge into the room. His cry of surprise was cut off by his own hand being clamped tightly over his mouth.

"Zuko! –You're Zuko, right?" he heard himself ask. He nodded dumbly and the hand over his mouth was pulled away. "Oh my spirits, it's true."

"Katara?" he asked hesitantly, recognizing the infection in his double's tone.

The other him grabbed at the air over his chest as though trying to tug on a lock of hair that wasn't there and nodded.

"How...? Why...?" Zuko struggled to form a question that wasn't completely inane.

"I don't know!" she wailed, dropping down on the bed. "I just woke up this morning and I was in your room and and had your voice and– Tui, Zuko! I have _boy parts_!" she whispered the last part hysterically.

Zuko's face heated up and he looked at her, aghast. "You looked?"

Katara shook her head furiously. "Of course I didn't look! I just, I can _feel it_."

Zuko was pretty sure he'd never felt more mortified in his life. Not even his uncle bursting in naked riding a pig-chicken with a battalion of beefy flamenco dancers all chanting his name could make him feel this embarrassed. "Well, stop it then!" he told her, covering his–her–face with his–her–hands.

"I can't just stop feeling it!"

Agni, why him? _Why him_? "We need to figure out how this happened," he said, switching gears away from this horrible, awkward subject, "People don't just... _change bodies_ for no reason."

This seemed to pull Katara's mind back on track. "Wait, Zuko!" she exclaimed suddenly, "Yesterday! That spirit!"

Understanding dawned on him. The wish. He'd told the spirit he wanted to try out being a waterbender and Katara said she wanted to try being a firebender. And now... "I'm a waterbender," he realized, staring at his dark-skinned hands.

"And I'm a firebender," Katara said with equal parts horror and wonder in her tone.

"And I'm an earthbender," Toph's grumpy voice came from the doorway, "I'm glad we cleared that up. Now, can one of you please tell me why it was necessary to pick the freaking butt-crack of dawn to have this conversation? Some of us are trying to sleep, you know."

"Ah, Toph!" Katara greeted awkwardly, striding over to the door, "Could you please give us a moment? Thanks." She shoved the short earthbender out the door and closed it behind her.

"Yeah yeah, mommy and daddy are talking. I get it," Toph said through the wood before her footsteps retreated down the hallway.

"Shouldn't we tell her what's going on?" Zuko pointed out.

"Absolutely not," Katara declared firmly. "Nobody is to know about this."

"How are we possibly going to keep this a secret?" he asked incredulously. Not that he was terribly anxious for the others to know either, but trying to hide it...

"Shenlong said this was only for a day, right? Twenty-four hours. That's not that long. I'll just be you, and you try to be me. How hard can it be?"

Zuko pinched the bridge of his–Katara's–nose and sighed. Twenty-four hours. She was asking him to be her for an entire day. "...Alright," he grudgingly conceded.

oO0Oo

* * *

To be continued on Day 7

Whew, this was a long one. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. I've always wanted to try my hand at a body-swap fic. It seems my enthusiasm couldn't be contained in just one day.

A hearty "thank you" to all of my reviewers. You guys rock.

See you tomorrow for Day 5: Serenade.


	5. Serenade

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 5

Serenade

Alternative Title: An Interlude by Carly Rae Jepsen

"You can't be serious," Zuko said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Toph crossed her legs and leaned toward the anxious firebender in front of her. "Would you prefer another one of Sokka's plans?"

Zuko paled. "No."

"That's what I thought. Now listen, because I know what I'm talking about. Being blind means that I have to rely a lot on the sound of people's voices, and voices are actually a pretty good indicator of character. The way a person talks reflects how they think, you followin' me, Sparky?"

"...I guess."

Toph nodded. "Naturally, people can manipulate their speech to inspire certain feelings in others. It's something all of us do every single day."

"I suppose that's true."

"Yes. And you know what the most effective method of vocal expression is?"

"Don't tell me..."

"That's right, hot-stuff. _Song_. That's why we write ballads and anthems, and why people are so drawn to singers. They make us _feel things_. If you want Katara to forgive you, you're gonna have to _convince_ her that your feelings are honest."

"And the only way to do that is to _serenade_ her?" Zuko asked skeptically.

Toph lifted her palms upward and shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, that's my advice. Take it or leave it."

oO0Oo

* * *

Telling him to serenade Katara was all well and good, but how in Agni's name was he going to do that? Zuko had never been much of a singer, and the only instrument he knew how to play was the tsungi horn, which he doubted the abandoned temple carried.

"Hey, Zuko! Whtacha thinking about?" Aang's voice came from beside him.

Zuko looked down at the younger boy, a little surprised that he hadn't noticed him approach. "I need to come up with a song that will convince Katara that I've changed," he told him glumly.

"A song? What've you got so far? Maybe I can help."

Zuko sighed. "Nothing. I don't even know where to begin."

Aang smiled and put his hands on his hips. "Well, it's a good thing I'm here, then. The Air Nomads were all about music and singing. I'm sure that if we put our heads together, we can come up with something."

oO0Oo

* * *

Two hours later found Aang and Zuko striding into the common area, armed with an old air nomad flute and a page of heavily edited lyrics.

"And just _where_ have you two been?" Katara asked, eying Zuko suspiciously.

"We were practicing," Aang said brightly, trying to mollify her, "Zuko wrote a song for you."

Katara's expression changed to one of confusion. "A song? For me?" she asked, blinking at Aang. Then her eyes fixed on Zuko again and the suspicion in them returned tenfold. "And why would you do something like that?"

"Oh, lighten up and let him sing it," Toph spoke up from her perch next to the happily bubbling cook pot. There were murmurs of agreement from the others lounging about nearby.

The huffy waterbender crossed her arms and relented. "Alright, let's hear it."

Aang whipped out his flute and gave Zuko an encouraging nod. "Ready, hotman?"

"As I'll ever be," Zuko answered, holding up his sheet and setting his face into an expression of determination. Aang nodded and began to play.

Fighting not to flush with embarrassment, Zuko sang,

"I showed up at your tribe

I was a thorn in your side

You know that I really tried

To get in your way.

...

"I chased you across the globe

Till Zhao made my ship explode

And then I hit the road

And went to Ba Sing Se.

...

"I tried to be good

Even you thought I could

Trust me when I say that I would

If you'd let me just start over!

...

"Hey, I just joined you,

And I know you're angry

But I'm really sorry

Will you please forgive me?

...

"I know I messed up

And now you're wary

But I'm really sorry

Will you please forgive me?"

Aang stopped playing and Zuko looked at Katara hopefully. There was a long moment of silence while everyone waited to hear Katara's response. She opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a snort from Toph. Everyone looked over at the blind earthbender with confusion. Toph snorted again and then threw her head back and began laughing loudly. "You actually–!" she tried to speak between peels of laughter, "You actually did it!"

Katara rounded on her. "_You_ put him up to this?"

"I didn't think he'd really do it!" she responded, wiping tears from her eyes.

Sokka began to chuckle as well, followed by Suki, then Haru, then Teo. Soon, everyone in the room was laughing and grinning and even cheering for the now completely embarrassed teen standing awkwardly before them.

Katara's eyebrow twitched and she stood abruptly. "Ugh! All of you!" She turned on her heel and stormed off.

Zuko glared around at them, blushing furiously, and stomped away as well, muttering about conniving earthbenders and '_why him?'_

"Oh, that was awful," Toph said, finally managing to control her giggles.

Sokka nodded in agreement. "But oddly catchy."

oO0Oo

* * *

w00t! This one gave me a lot of trouble at first. I considered just blowing it off and moving on to the next day, but then I would feel all disappointed at myself, so I persevered. Thus _this_ was born.

I figured, hey, everyone else is parodying this song, how can I say no?

See you tomorrow for Day 6: Desired


	6. Desired

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 6

Desired

"Okay, Katara, your turn. What do you find most desirable in a man?"

Zuko stopped walking, turning toward the entrance to the living room where a small amount of light permeated the darkness of the hallway. Curiously, he peeked in and saw Suki, Toph, and Katara all huddled in a circle in the middle of the floor, surrounded by pillows and blankets pulled from other rooms in the beach house. The furniture had all been moved to the side, and the only light was from a couple of old lanterns he recalled Sokka digging out of storage earlier that day.

The twice-banished prince of the Fire Nation was flummoxed. What in Roku's name were they doing?

Katara looked thoughtful as she considered Suki's question. "I don't know, I guess I like it when men are determined. I want a man who will fight for what he believes in."

"What about personality-wise?" the Kyoshi warrior prompted.

Katara thought for another moment, then said, "I prefer guys who are honest and don't try to build themselves up too much. I want someone who will listen to me and genuinely care about what I think."

Suki and Toph both made noises of agreement.

"And physically?" Toph asked, and Zuko could swear he heard a note of artifice in her voice.

He snuck a little closer, trying to get a better view.

"I don't know..." Katara said, rubbing her arm indecisively.

"There must be something," Suki said, leaning toward her slightly.

"Yeah, Sweetness. What really _turns you on_?"

"_Toph_!" the waterbender admonished, pegging the younger girl with a disapproving and flustered look.

The earthbender shrugged. "What? I'm just asking."

Suki regarded her blue clad friend curiously. "Don't you have a type preference?"

Katara shook her head. "I haven't really thought about it."

"Well, let's figure it out right now," the older girl suggested. "We'll go by process of elimination. How about we start with Haru; what do you dislike about him, physically?"

Katara grabbed a lock of hair and fiddled with it thoughtfully. "Well, I didn't like his mustache," she said, crinkling her nose, "And he was a bit on the stocky side."

"So, taller and leaner?"

Katara nodded.

"What about Jet?" Toph asked.

Zuko perked up. Jet? Were they talking about...?

He shook his head in dismissal. There were probably a million Jets in the world. No way were they discussing the same one he'd met on the ferry ride to Ba Sing Se.

Katara looked somewhat sad for a moment, but the expression quickly vanished. "He was handsome," she admitted, "but maybe a little too lanky. And I wasn't really all that attracted to his eyes. They were kind of narrow and beady, not really the kind you get lost in, if you know what I mean."

"Muscular, with nice eyes," Suki added to the list.

Toph grinned. "Okay, how about Aang?"

Zuko saw a tinge of red appear on Katara's cheeks. He frowned.

"He's cute, but I don't exactly feel overtaken by passion when I see him."

Suki wore an understanding expression. "He _is_ still a little young."

Katara nodded. "And also... I don't know, I think Aang's bald head is cute, but I actually kind of prefer hair. Whenever I think about kissing someone, I always imagine myself running my hands through thick, dark hair."

She was full on blushing now as she averted her gaze to the pillow on her lap.

Toph grinned slyly. "So, an older guy who's tall and muscular, but not too beefy, with thick dark hair and pretty eyes... do we know anyone like that?" she asked Suki innocently, "I can't see, after all."

Suki crossed her arms and smirked. "Well, that does sound an awful lot like _someone_ I've run into recently. _If only_ I could remember who it was."

Katara looked up and pinned them with a glare. "I'm not attracted to Zuko!"

"Zuko? Who said anything about Zuko?" Suki's smirk widened. "Are you implying that he's your type?"

"N-No! I..."

Toph leaned back with a triumphant look on her face. "Is that why you're always saying his name in your sleep?"

"I don't talk in my sleep!"

"But you _do_ dream of Zuko?

Katara opened and closed her mouth wordlessly for a good moment, then picked up a nearby pillow and chucked it at Toph's head.

Somehow, Toph managed to dodge the fluffy projectile and retaliated by walloping Katara over the head with a sofa cushion.

"Pillow fight!" Suki called merrily, grabbing a cushion in each hand.

Zuko recognized this as his cue to leave.

Tiptoeing away back toward the stairs, he didn't bother suppressing the silly grin on his face. Perhaps he would ask Katara to go into town with him tomorrow. To get supplies, of course.

...And maybe some lunch.

Okay, this isn't my best work ever. It's more just generic silly and fluffy than OMGROFL! But really, it's pretty much just a holdover until tomorrow's prompt anyway.

Speaking of, who's excited for the continuation of body-swap!Zutara?! I know I am!

See you all then!


	7. Pride

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 7

Pride

(Continuation of Day 4: Change)

Katara folded the crimson hippari over her now masculine chest and fastened it at the side before carefully tucking the edge into her pants, trying as hard as she could to not think about the piece of anatomy her hand was forced to come dangerously near to in the process. She almost stomped back to her own room to make Zuko put the clothes on her himself, but her pride wouldn't allow her to be defeated by something as trivial as dressing in the morning. After the hippari came the tunic, which was simple enough, but she encountered a problem when it came time for the belt. She had no idea how to tie it. _Curse Zuko and his__ needlessly complicated F__ire Nation knots!_

She wouldn't be beat, though. Grabbing the long, golden colored cloth, she wrapped it around Zuko's narrow waist and tried to figure out how to tie it. Five minutes later, she threw her hands up in frustration and just tied it in front of her, allowing the ends to dangle where they would. Pulling on his silly pointy boots, she wandered back to her own room to check on Zuko's progress.

Zuko had clearly been more successful than her in the clothing department. Everything was wrapped and tucked and fastened correctly, even her sarashi. However, he did seem to be having some trouble with her hair. Currently, he was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, muttering about 'solving this'. Apparently her hair was analogous to a puzzle.

"Here, just let me do it," she said, startling him.

He turned around and nodded, looking relieved. Then he glanced down at her waist and raised an eyebrow.

"I couldn't figure out how to tie it," she told him, lifting the ends helplessly.

"I can help you with that after you do my hair," he said, handing her the blue beads.

She led him back over to the bed and sat him down in front of her. It was truly bizarre, having to do her hair from the 'outside'. Simply seeing herself from another perspective was really weird. Her mind was full of thoughts like, _is that what I look like from that angle?_ and _I don't think I've ever seen the top of my own head before_. She wondered if Zuko was thinking the same thing, looking at his own body.

When she was finished, she stood up and Zuko retied her belt for her. She could only imagine what they must look like right now; her tying Zuko's belt for him like a mother dressing a small child–or rather, a very tall, muscular child.

Now properly attired, they faced their next great hurdle. Breakfast.

oO0Oo

* * *

Being a girl was weird. Like, _really_ weird. Firstly, he had glaring mounds of flesh on his chest. Zuko quickly learned that breasts were very hard to ignore. They protruded out in such a way that he was constantly accidentally brushing them. He couldn't cross his arms, he couldn't scratch his chest, he had to be careful whenever he tried to touch his neck or face, or rearrange his hair.

Secondly, a distinct part of his anatomy was rather noticeably missing. There was just... nothing there. It was _freaky_. However, there _were_ things _inside_ of him now that he certainly didn't have before; such as _particular muscles_ which he imagined came in very handy on certain occasions... _which he would not linger on right now_.

Thirdly, his entire frame was different; but most prominently, his hips. It had never occurred to him that the width of a person's hips affected their movement so much. He still hadn't completely adjusted. Also, everything was _softer_. His chest, his stomach, his arms, his legs; Katara was all gentle curves and smooth skin. She had definite muscle, but it didn't protrude the way a man's would.

Lastly, much of the strength he was accustomed to having in his upper body was absent. From what he understood, girls' power tended to be housed more in their legs than their arms and torso. He supposed he would have to test the extent to which that was the case later on.

He wondered how Katara was handling being in his own body. Was being a man as weird for her as being a woman was for him? At least his body had fewer _danger zones_ to avoid. She didn't have to worry as much about where she put her hands.

These were Zuko's thoughts as he and Katara descended the stairs to the kitchen. If they were lucky, most of their friends would still be sleeping and they could quickly eat and run away.

That, unfortunately, was not to be the case. When they arrived, they saw Aang, Sokka, Suki, and Toph all waiting for them with expectant looks on their faces.

"What was up with you two this morning?" Sokka asked, eyeing them strangely.

"You were running around like a pair of hyena-monkeys," Aang described helpfully.

"And I thought I heard you scream," Suki added, looking at him with slight concern in her eyes.

Zuko felt himself blush a little. "I uh... saw a spider-roach?" he said, glancing at Katara for help.

Katara quickly nodded. "Yes, there was a huge spider-raoch in my– er, her room. I was helping her chase it down."

Toph gave them both a skeptical look but didn't call them on their lie. She was being strangely silent, actually.

Sokka laughed. "Is that all? Jeez, Katara. I thought you were made of stronger stuff than that."

Katara crossed her arms shot back, "Says the guy who cried when he got a fishhook stuck in his thumb."

Sokka gave her a confused look. "How did you know that?"

She visibly tensed up as she realized her mistake. "Uh... Katara told me."

Sokka then turned to him and scowled. "Look, I'm glad you and Zuko are getting along now, but I'd prefer it if you didn't bond over my distress."

Zuko scratched the back of his head. "Um, right. Sorry."

Everyone looked at him weirdly. "Are you feeling okay, Katara?" Aang asked, looking at him uncertainly. "You seem sort of... off this morning."

Zuko mentally floundered. What would Katara say? Something reassuring... "I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well last night. All this heat really gets to me." That sounded about right, and Katara _had_ been complaining about the temperature the day before.

His response seemed to satisfy the others, and Katara subtly nodded in approval.

Their friends left them alone after that, and Suki stepped up to make their breakfast, luckily for him, since Katara usually did the cooking and he was pretty terrible at making breakfasty foods.

While they ate, Sokka pulled out his schedule and went over the day's plan. "Okay, so Toph is getting Aang after breakfast today... that leaves Katara and Zuko free until lunch. We're running a little low on supplies, so I was thinking that the rest of us would go into town."

Zuko blanched. If they were going to be going into town, that meant he'd have to change clothes. He'd specifically dressed in Katara's Water Tribe attire so that he wouldn't have to deal with all of that bare skin. It was already hard enough not to touch anything inappropriate as it was. "You know what? I really am feeling tired," he interrupted, faking a a yawn, "I think I'll just stay here. You all can go without me."

Suki raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure? I thought you wanted to look at spices."

"I can do that next time."

"Alright, I'll just pick up the cinnamon, then."

Katara was the next to speak up. "I'm going to stay behind too," she declared. "I uh... have to meditate."

"Don't you usually do that in the morning?" Aang asked, confused.

"Yes, well, I was a little preoccupied this morning."

Sokka, for once, didn't seem terribly upset about their deviation from his plan. He turned to Suki with a flirty smile and said, "Looks like it's just you and me, then."

Toph made exaggerated gagging noises from her perch on the counter.

oO0Oo

* * *

It didn't take long for the next problem to come up, and it was one of the primary reasons Katara elected not to go into town with her brother and his girlfriend. In fact, it was a problem that she'd been trying her best to ignore all morning. Unfortunately, it was not the kind of problem that went away when you ignored it. Sooner or later she was going to have to deal with it, and her body was voting for sooner.

Her pride told her to suck it up and just deal with this herself; she was a mature and rational young woman–nearly an adult; she should be able to handle something like this. It's not like it was even a big deal, really. And yet, the thought of it made her cringe and blush simultaneously. Despite herself, she needed help.

She waited until Sokka and Suki were gone and Aang and Toph were fully preoccupied with bending before approaching Zuko.

"Zuko," she said urgently, trying to beat down the redness in her cheeks.

"What?" he asked, looking up at her inquiringly.

She looked away as her cheeks flared up even more. "I have to go to the bathroom."

He stared at her uncomprehendingly. "So go."

She covered her face with her hand. Clearly he didn't understand the situation. "Zuko, _I have to go to the bathroom_." She gestured _down there_ for emphasis.

Zuko's eyes widened as her meaning clicked. "Oh."

"Yeah." Honestly, she was surprised he wasn't having the same problem as her. She must have woken at some point during the night to use the restroom.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" he asked. Now he was blushing as well.

"I don't know, maybe guide it... or something." Her face was absolutely burning now. This was the most awkward conversation of her entire life. Hands down. Bidding over. Everybody go home.

"You want me to..." he trailed off, making a hand gesture that she wasn't familiar with.

"Would you prefer that I do it myself?" she asked, crossing her arms.

'No! Ugh..." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let's just get this over with," he said with a resigned sigh.

A moment later found them in Zuko's bathroom, standing awkwardly in front of the latrine. Katara self consciously ran a hand through her shaggy hair and looked at Zuko helplessly. "So... should I shut my eyes now? Or...?"

"Erm, yeah, I guess... Well, move a little more this way first–" he guided her so that she was directly over the toilet, "Now go ahead."

Katara squeezed her eyes closed and turned her head away, intent on ignoring this as best she could. She felt Zuko move her tunic out of the way and take hold of the edge of her pants, then he was pulling the front down, just enough to access her... part. It suddenly occurred to her that it was _her_ hands doing this, and as cool fingers took hold of _it_, all she could think was, _Oh Tui and La, I'm touching Zuko's...!_

oO0Oo

* * *

Katara held her face in her hands as they exited the bathroom. Never had she felt more mortified. She'd never be able to look at her own hands the same way again. She should've just done it herself; now, when she returned to her own body, all she'd be able to think about was the fact that her hands were no longer virgins.

"...Katara?" Zuko asked hesitantly.

"_My innocence..._" she moaned through pale fingers.

Zuko's eyebrow twitched–was that what she looked like when she was irritated?–and he said, "Oh, for the love of– you were going to have to touch one eventually anyway."

"_You don't know that_." Maybe she was being a little ridiculous, but she couldn't find it in herself to care at the moment. She was allowed to be melodramatic about this.

Zuko looked suddenly flustered. "Oh, uh... I didn't... That's cool too. I'm not judging..."

She snapped her head down at him. "That's not what I meant!"

"Oh." He seemed somewhat relieved.

"Anyway," she said, trying to steer them away from this whole subject, "we have a couple hours before Aang's firebending lesson, so-" her eyes widened and her face paled. _Aang's firebending lesson!_

Zuko obviously realized what she was thinking, because he looked a little paler as well.

"Zuko, what are we going to do about Aang's training?" she asked urgently. "I don't know how to firebend!"

oO0Oo

* * *

To be continued... again.

Sorry, this one wasn't quite as great as I had hoped, but it's not over yet! I'm planning the next part for Day 11.

I wanted to update this at midnight, but I fell asleep while editing. Heheh. Too tired. I'm blaming any poor writing you might've encountered here on that.

Anywho, I'm off to bust out two more prompts, since I'll be too busy snowboarding tomorrow to write anything. Cheerio.


	8. Prejudice

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 8

Prejudice

It was a well known fact that Katara didn't like Zuko. She had never liked Zuko. Not since the moment his stupid pointy shoes stepped off his stupid pointy boat. One glance was all it took for her to know exactly what kind of person he was; an angry, arrogant, condescending, destructive, spoiled Fire Nation bully with stupid hair. Bam! Alphabetized! End of subject.

Their interactions thereafter did nothing to endear him to her. He only proved that he was everything she thought he was–not that she was expecting to be persuaded otherwise. Spreading war and violence and hatred was in his blood, after all. He'd more than proven that to her when he betrayed her in Ba Sing Se.

It was obvious that he was no good and never would be. Even if he _had_ managed to convince the others, she would always see him for what he really was; an angry, arrogant, condescending, destructive, spoiled Fire Nation bully with stupid hair.

Okay, maybe he _had_ fixed the hair. But he was still an angry, arrogant, condescending, destructive, spoiled Fire Nation bully.

"Argh, I'm never going to get this!" Aang groused, throwing his hands up in frustration.

Zuko crossed his arms. "Yes you will. Again!"

"It doesn't matter how many times I do it, it'll never look like yours."

"It will. You just have to keep working at it. It took me a long time to master this as well. You're a talented kid, but you can't expect to be perfect right away."

Alright, maybe he wasn't as condescending as she made him out to be, but he was still an angry, arrogant, destructive, spoiled Fire Nation bully.

"Aang, you need to learn control. You can't have everything around you going up in flames every time you bend. Now help me put this out so that we can try again."

Fine, he wasn't really destructive either. But that didn't change the fact that he was an angry, arrogant, spoiled Fire Nation bully.

"Look, we all make mistakes. I still have problems controlling my fire, and I've been doing this a lot longer than you."

...Still an angry, spoiled Fire Nation bully.

"Getting what you want takes a lot of hard work. You'll struggle a lot before you succeed."

...An angry Fire Nation bully.

"No, I'm not angry with you. Just try again."

...A Fire Nation bully.

"Good! See? You're getting the hang of it."

Katara glowered at the dark haired teen observing Aang's newest firebending form with an approving smile on his face. Rising from her seat on the edge of the fountain as dramatically and disruptively as possible, she pointed at him and announced, "I still don't like you!" before turning on her heel and marching back into the temple.

* * *

Wow! Shortest chapter yet. (Only 530 words)

It took me like a million years to think of an idea for this one, but once I did, the writing part came really easily. I'm not usually able to just sit down and bust a story out. I guess the word-fairy finally deigned to visit me.


	9. Sublime

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 9

Sublime

"You know, Zuko, there's something I've always wondered about you."

Zuko swallowed his mouthful of fire gummies and reached into the bag for more. "What's that?"

"Well, you're a prince..."

"Yeah? So?" He popped two gummies into his mouth and resumed chewing idly.

"So... why don't you act like one?"

Zuko paused in his munching and gave her an odd look. "What do you mean?"

"Just that princes are supposed to be all stately and mannerly and debonaire. You're sitting with your feet up on the table, eating fire gummies by the handful."

Zuko swallowed again and set the bag down on the table, removing his feet. "Would you prefer it if I acted that way?"

Katara wasn't expecting a response like that. She blinked at him as her brain digested the question. "Could you?"

"I could, if you really want me to."

Somehow, Katara couldn't quite imagine it. "Okay then, for the rest of the evening, act like a proper prince."

Zuko eyed her steadily for a long moment, then he stood from his chair, set his shoulders back, and offered her his hand. Smiling handsomely, he said, "If I may, my lady, a hard chair is no place for a delicate young woman such as yourself. Please, won't you allow me to escort you to a more suitable place of repose?"

To say Katara was taken aback was putting it mildly. Zuko's entire demeanor just changed in the blink of an eye.

Playing along, she took his hand and let him lead her into the living room and over to one of the large, cushy sofas. He sat her down courteously and held her hand a moment longer before letting it go and stepping back.

"I apologize for the lack of servants, but you'll understand that we can't have anyone knowing we're here. Can I fetch you anything?"

"That's alright, I'm fine." Zuko's sudden formality was causing her to speak more politely as well. Funny how that worked.

He took a seat in the chair opposite her and settled his elbows on the armrests, interlacing his fingers in front of him. Normally, he showed little regard for comportment and would simply flop down onto the chair, allowing his limbs to sprawl where they would, but now he sat straight and proper, his back to the back of the chair and his feet planted firmly on the floor. Katara hadn't seen him look this stiff since he first joined them, and it occurred to her just how much more comfortable Zuko had become around them since then.

"Hey, you guys," Sokka said, coming in and plopping down next to her.

Zuko nodded at him. "Sokka."

Sokka looked between them curiously. "This is different. You two are usually hanging out in the kitchen right about now."

"Apparently my butt is too soft for the chairs in there," she told him tossing a teasing smirk at Zuko.

Zuko's facade didn't waver. "I merely thought you would be more comfortable in here."

"What's up with him?" Sokka asked her, jerking his thumb in Zuko's direction.

"I challenged him to act like a proper prince," she explained.

"Really?" This time it was Toph's voice that spoke as she and Suki entered the room.

Zuko smoothly stood from his seat and bowed his head toward them. "Lady Bei Fong, esteemed Captain Suki," he greeted. "You're both looking lovely this evening."

Katara resisted a silly urge to pout. Zuko hadn't called _her_ lovely.

"Wow, he really is acting the part," Suki said with a grin.

Sokka put his hand on his chest, looking mock hurt. "You didn't get up when I came in," he accused.

"It is customary to rise when a lady enters the room," Zuko explained. "I wouldn't want to disrespect my guests."

Toph chuckled. "Who knew Zuko had a genteel side?"

"Is that really how Fire Nation princes act?" Sokka asked a little skeptically.

"No," Zuko said plainly, "but Katara asked me to act princely, not like an actual prince."

Katara was confused. There was a difference? "Then what does an actual prince act like?" she asked.

Zuko raised his eyebrow. "You really want to know?"

"Well, yeah."

He gave her a little smirk and walked back into the kitchen. He emerged a moment later with his half-eaten bag of fire gummies and proceeded to flop onto his chair, prop his feet up on the tea table and begin munching the snack by the handful.

* * *

I'm sorry! This is pure, unadulterated lion-turtle dung. And it's nearly late. (for my time zone, anyway. It's probably already late for most of you. :P). Snowboarding and Christmasy family activities have set me back a lot. I just hope that I have enough time to write a somewhat decent continuation of my body-swap ficlet before Day 11.

As usual, see you all tomorrow!


	10. Affliction

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 10

Affliction

Fire Nation medicine was some of the best in the world. Their doctors were second only to the Water Tribes' healers. Their apothecaries produced drugs and salves that stopped infections and slowed diseases and helped with pain and a whole plethora of other grand things. However, these wondrous medicines were not without their concomitants.

Pain relievers were the worst, as Katara was quickly discovering.

"Katara," Zuko called from his bed, where he lay swathed in bandages under a thick blanket.

"What is it? Do you need something?" she asked concernedly.

Zuko stared at her with a dreamy look in his eyes and said, "Oh, Uncle. I was just looking for Katara. Have you seen her?"

"Zuko, it's me."

Zuko smiled widely and his gaze shifted to somewhere over her left shoulder. "Me? No, I'm looking for Katara. I have to tell her something."

Katara took a seat on the edge of the bed and put a hand on his arm. "Tell me what?" she asked patiently.

Zuko closed his eyes and lay back so that he was smiling up at the ceiling. "It's a secret."

He giggled then, and it was the most bizarre sound Katara had ever heard. She had barely heard him laugh, let alone make a noise that could come anywhere close to being described as a giggle.

"Zuko, look at me," she commanded, putting her hand on his cheek and turning his head back to her. "It's me, Katara."

Zuko's dreamy gold eyes locked onto her own and he blinked slowly. Then his face lit up in recognition and he said enthusiastically, "Katara! You came to visit me!"

"Of course I did. Now, what did you want to tell me?"

Zuko was silent for a long moment. Then he giggled again and without warning, grabbed her around the middle and pulled her down with him, mushing her face into the mattress next to his head. "You have to stay here now."

"Hmrf?" she asked through the sheets.

Zuko pulled her to him and snuggled his head into her neck. "I've got you. You can't leave."

"Z-Zuko," she said, now that her mouth was free, "What are you doing?"

"I'm keeping you. You're mine now."

"Excuse me?" She tried to squirm out of his hold, but his grip didn't loosen. For someone who had only recently been struck by lightning, he sure had a lot of strength. Perhaps those drugs worked _too_ well.

A beat later, she heard a soft sigh followed by a string of steady inhales and exhales. Her squirming stopped and she looked down at his face, still buried in the crook of her neck. He was asleep.

Yes, Fire Nation medicine was some of the best in the world, but Katara wasn't convinced that it didn't create more problems than it solved.

* * *

Can you tell that I wrote this in like 20 minutes? Sorry, I ended up in that wonderful place where you're forced to quickly bust something out in order to meet the deadline. I'm so behind right now. I thought I was going to get all day to write, but then I was roped into taking my little sister to the mall to buy Christmas presents. Then I had to beat The Wind Waker for her. On top of that, I spent a long time trying to figure out the specifics of my upcoming trip to visit a friend in New Mexico. Oh yeah, then my internet decided to crap out for a few hours. Poop.

Next chapter is supposed to be the next installment of the body-swap mini-series. Hopefully I'll be able to write enough of that tomorrow to post a satisfactory continuation. Otherwise, you all might have to wait a little longer. Please, universe! Help a sista out.


	11. Intimacy

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 11

Intimacy

(the continuation of Change and Pride)

Katara breathed deeply, just as Zuko instructed, and attempted to feel her inner flame. The two of them had agreed that she should try to learn some firebending. Nothing fancy, just enough to get through Aang's lesson. Zuko had been planning to teach Aang fire whips that day, which he learned from watching her water whips, so conceivably, it shouldn't be too hard for her to pick up.

That's what Zuko said, but twenty minutes later Katara had yet to produce heat, much less fire.

"Maybe if you had some fire in front of you to control..." Zuko mused, "Since you're not accustomed to generating your own element."

"Good idea. This just isn't working."

They returned to the house to retrieve a candle and some spark rocks, and Zuko set up the candle on top of a flat rock near the old well. It turned out this was the right move, because the moment the flame was lit, Katara's bending senses kicked into gear and she found that she could feel the fire in the same way she felt water.

Feeling more confident, she adopted a bending pose and tried to manipulate the flame, however, the tiny flickering tongue didn't respond.

"Waterbending isn't going work," Zuko reminded her.

"I know that," she told him a little defensively, "I just had to try."

Zuko moved up next to her and dropped into a more aggressive stance, extending his left arm out in front of him and positioning his right behind him at about head level. "Try standing like this."

She tried to mimic him as best she could. "Like this?"

Zuko nodded in approval. "Yes, that's good. Now, focus on the fire and _punch_." He accentuated the word with a punch of his own to demonstrate.

Katara nodded and concentrated on the small flame in front of her, then she punched forward with all her might. This time the flame responded, flaring up and shooting out in the direction of her punch.

"I did it! Zuko, I did it! I'm a firebender!"

Zuko crossed his arms and smiled in approval. "Good. Now do it again."

Katara nodded and resumed her stance. She punched, and again the fire flared out. Pleased with her progress, she performed a few more consecutive strikes and the fire blazed out even further. "This is so cool!" she announced enthusiastically.

"Cooler than waterbending?" Zuko asked teasingly.

"Not as cool as waterbending, but it's close."

A thought struck her then. Waterbending was _cool_. As in cold. As a waterbender, she could remove heat from things. Did that mean that firebenders added heat to things? Did they generate fire by manipulating heat?

Deciding to test her theory, she held out her right hand and focused the natural heat of Zuko's chi into her palm. It was surprisingly easy, and she knew she was on the right track when the temperature of the air around her hand began to rise.

A dark-skinned hand appeared over her palm, and she looked up to see Zuko standing right in front of her. "That's it. You've got it. Now just give it a good push," he instructed, removing his hand.

She did, and suddenly bright orange fire burst over her palm. The sudden blaze startled her and she shrieked and began shaking her hand wildly in fear of being burned.

"Katara! Calm down, it's not going to hurt you," Zuko tried to reassure her, grabbing at her arm, but she was too busy panicking to pay attention to him and continued swinging the lit appendage around madly.

A yelp penetrated her frenzied state and rational thought returned enough for her to put out the blaze properly. She looked to the source of the sound and found Zuko dancing around in circles as flames rose up from her blue tunic. "Put it out! Put it out!" he yelled frantically.

Her panic returned full force. "I don't know how!"

"Well do _something_!"

"Use waterbending!"

"I don't know how!"

By this point they were both running around in circles, Zuko out of distress, and Katara to try and catch him.

"What are you two doing?" Toph's exasperated voice called from a short distance away.

Aang's voice followed. "Toph, why did you suddenly– Ah! Katara! _You're on fire_!"

Katara turned her head toward them and yelled, "Aang! Help!"

Aang quickly assumed a bending pose and began pulling water from the old well. Katara finally manged to cut Zuko off and throw him to the ground just as a wave of mucky, stagnant water washed over them. The fire was doused, and both teens were left hacking and spluttering in a large puddle of mud.

"Zuko! What did you do?" Aang cried accusingly.

"I didn't do anything!" Zuko defended, "She was the one who–" He cut off as he realized his mistake. "Uh, I mean..."

Katara came to his rescue. "I'm sorry, Aang, it was my fault. We were... uh, sparring, and I got carried away."

"Why didn't you put it out?"

"Or better yet, why didn't Katara put it out?" Toph chimed in, crossing her arms over her chest in a highly judging manner. "Did the two of you both forget how to bend, or something?"

Katara and Zuko shared a look. "Uhhh..."

"In any case, you both stink. Jeez, what's been living in that well, anyway?" She waved her and in front of her nose in the universal gesture for _pee-yew_.

"Frogs."

"Toads," Zuko corrected.

"Well they reek." She turned to Zuko then and said, "Do us all a favor and clean up before you come inside."

"The baths are inside," he reminded her smartly.

"You're a waterbender," she reminded him just as smartly. "The baths are wherever you are. Now come on, Aang. Show's over. Back to practice." She grabbed the airbender by the back of his robe and pulled him back around the side of the house.

Katara had half a mind to stop them and demand that Aang use his waterbending to clean them up, but that would involve explaining why she couldn't do it herself, and they were already gone anyway. She looked at Zuko and sighed. "We're going to have to take a bath."

Zuko paled. "I- I can't..."

"We can keep our clothes on," she said quickly, "And we'll wash each other. That way we won't touch something we're not supposed to."

Zuko looked reluctant but nodded. He made to stand, but the moment he got up, his scorched tunic fell away, leaving him in only her sarashi and pants.

"My dress!" Katara moaned, picking up the ruined cloth.

Zuko looked down at himself and groaned.

oO0Oo

* * *

"Do you think you can handle heating the water?" Zuko asked, standing next to Katara by the full tub.

"If there's one thing I know, it's water," she responded confidently.

Zuko didn't doubt that, but he still supervised extra carefully as she stuck her hands in the bathwater and bended heat into it.

The tub was massive, so heating it took a while, but she managed just fine. When the water was hot enough, she pulled her arms back out and began removing his tunic and hippari, letting them fall on the floor by the tub with a wet plop. Katara was obviously a lot more comfortable with undressing him than he was undressing her.

Rolling up her pants, the former waterbender stepped into the tub and sank down into a sitting position before turning back to him and saying, "What are you waiting for, a written invitation?"

Zuko took a step back. "You want to bathe together?"

She raised his good eyebrow and said, "Well, how else are we going to wash each other? What, are you too shy to share a bath with yourself?"

She made a good point, he supposed. It's not like it was _her_ he would be bathing with. Well, it _was_ her, but it was his body, so it wouldn't be weird...

Who was he kidding, this whole predicament was the weirdest block of weird in weirdsville. Still, he stripped off the muddy blue pants and joined her in the tub.

The moment he touched the water, he felt it resonate with his chi. It was a comforting feeling, and suddenly Zuko understood why Katara was so drawn to water. It wrapped around his legs in a gentle embrace, and when he sat down, it did the same to the rest of his body.

"It feels nice, doesn't it?" Katara asked, watching him with amusement.

Zuko nodded in agreement and sank down further until the water reached his chin. He felt it shift as Katara got up and moved behind him, and he looked back at her curiously.

"Hand me the soap. I'll wash your hair for you," she offered.

"I know how to wash hair," he protested, but gave her the bar anyway.

Katara had him dunk his head and then lathered the thick brown tresses with soap. Suddenly he was glad that he let her do it. The way her fingers were massaging his scalp was heavenly. He sighed and leaned back into her touch, letting the water relax his body and her hands relax his head. He could get used to this.

When Katara was finished with his hair, she moved on to his body, scrubbing his shoulders and then his back. Zuko suppressed a moan as she dug her fingers into the tight muscles under his shoulder blades. She was just slipping her fingers under the material of his breast bindings when the door opened.

"Hey, Katara, Toph told me you were in... here," Suki trailed off as she took in the sight before her.

The two of them hurriedly broke apart, blushing furiously.

"Um, is this a bad time?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

Katara shook her head, "No, no. This, uh, isn't what it looks like. There was an incident behind the house, you see, and–"

Suki held up her hand. "It's okay, you don't need to explain. You're both old enough to make your own decisions. And really, we were all expecting this at some point–well, except for Aang–but you really should tell Sokka..."

"You've got it all wrong," Katara insisted, "We're not like that." Then her–his–face screwed up in confusion and she said, "And what do you mean, you were all expecting this at some point?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that, you know, Katara's a good looking young woman and you're a good looking young man, and when two good looking young people with a lot of natural chemistry are around each other long enough..."

"A lot of what now?"

Suki gave her a look. "Well, you did work awfully hard to earn Katara's forgiveness, and the two of you spend a lot of time together. We just assumed..."

"Look, there's nothing going on between us. We're just friends."

Suki didn't look convinced, but she didn't press the subject. Instead she turned to Zuko and said, "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I picked up some cumin at the market, so now we should have everything we need for that picken recipe you wanted to try."

"Oh, uh, good," he said, not having the slightest clue what she was talking about. "Let's do that one tomorrow, then. I think Zuko wants to cook tonight," he looked at Katara pointedly, "Don't you, Zuko?"

Katara received his look and said, "Ah, yes. I offered to make dinner."

Suki looked surprised by this but didn't question it. Instead she said, "Well, I'm about to make lunch, so if you guys want to finish up..." she trailed off meaningfully.

"There is nothing to finish!" Katara exclaimed exasperatedly.

"Whatever you say," the Kyoshi leader responded, tossing them both an amused smile as she left.

As soon as the door was shut, Katara turned to him with an expression of dread and said, "This is bad. This is really bad. If she tells Sokka..."

Zuko put his face in his hands and groaned. "_Why meeeee_."

oO0Oo

* * *

Sweet mother of Aang. I am so behind now. The holidays are brutal. I really want to continue this, but it's all going to depend on time. I'm flying out to New Mexico today to visit a friend, so chances are good that my writing time is going to be cut down even more. I'll see how much I can get done on the plane.

About heat manipulation: I imagine that waterbenders actually freeze water by manipulating the molecules, not the heat directly, but in the interest of time and conciseness, I went with the latter. Hopefully it's believable enough to pass.

I'll get the next one up as soon as I can. Happy Christmas shopping!


	12. Mistake

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 12

Mistake

Katara crossed her arms over her chest and stared levelly down at the three boys. "You're saying this was a mistake?"

Sokka, Zuko and Aang all nodded in tandem.

"So, the fact that you decided to go hunting in _this_ part of woods, rather than the part where you'd actually catch anything, was an accident."

They nodded again.

"And the fact that Aang," she gestured to the bald monk, "who doesn't actually eat meat, or kill animals at all, was brought along on this trip was mere oversight."

"That's what we told you," Sokka confirmed, to the murmured agreement of Aang and Zuko.

"I see. And I suppose it was pure coincidence that brought the three of you into the vicinity of the hot spring where Suki and Toph and I were bathing."

"Completely," Aang agreed.

"And the reason none of you are carrying anything remotely capable of killing or trapping an animal, that was simply negligence."

Sokka shrugged blamelessly. "Zuko never thinks things through. What can I say?" This earned him a scowl from the older boy.

"So I'm to believe that your showing up at the hot spring where Suki and Toph and I were bathing, unarmed and with Aang, was all part of some ill conceived hunting trip."

"Yes," the three of them answered at once.

"Oh. Because you know, my idea of hunting doesn't usually involve _hiding in the trees above a pool full of naked young women_," she said glowering at them. "Did you catch anything good?"

"Yeah," Zuko said, smiling dopily.

The three of them were hurled into the spring.

oO0Oo

* * *

Sorry, it's a short one. I'm trying to catch up as much as I can right now.

So, for some reason ffnet just randomly decides when it wants to use my segment lines. Sorry about the confusing transitions in the last couple chapters.

See you next time!


	13. Festival

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 13

Festival

"Hey, guys! There's a festival in town tonight."

Those were the words that started it. Now Katara was hurrying through Ember Island's dimly lit marketplace, glancing over her shoulder every few seconds for any sign of her pursuer.

As it happened, the islanders were very fond of games, and every year, on midsummer's eve, they celebrated the year's prosperity by playing a large scale game of tag. Why tag, you ask? Supposedly it had something to do with an old legend about the great fire god Agni chasing his beloved, the nymph Svaha, in order to win her affections. Or something like that. Katara hadn't really been paying attention. She'd been admiring a bobble at a nearby stand when the festival committee began distributing masks to the crowd; white masks for the women and red masks for the men, and the next thing she knew, she was running for her life, trying not to be caught by anyone wearing a red mask.

According to the announcer, the winners would receive a monetary prize, and Sokka had suggested that they all try to go for it, as money was always an issue for "Team Avatar"_. _It had been about a half an hour now, and a large chunk of the participants had already been eliminated from the game. Whether you wore white or red, if a man stole your mask, you were out. The game would end when only two participants remained, a man, Agni, and a woman, Svaha.

Katara smirked as a few yards ahead she noticed a stack of crates mostly hidden in the long shadow cast by the low building next to it. Her escape. She grabbed the bottom edges of her red sarong as she ran, and quickly tied the ends up so that they would be out of the way. When she reached the crates, she wasted no time in climbing up onto the building's roof.

A moment later, her pursuer ran past, none the wiser. She chuckled as she saw his mask get taken by another man a few buildings down, and her grin grew when she recognized the clothes of his assailant. Sokka. Another red mask joined her brother, this one she also recognized. Aang. She saw them nod to each other and then run off in separate directions.

Curious to know how many people were left now, she began creeping along the rooftops, making her way toward the main square where the number of remaining players was tallied. She was nearly there when she noticed another figure hidden in the shadows of the next roof over. Her breath caught and she quickly dived behind a chimney. Her panic fell away when she saw the color of the person's mask. White. She hopped over to the other building, and with the decreased distance the person's identity became apparent. Of course, what other girl but Suki would think to climb up onto the roofs.

Suki spotted her and silently ushered her over.

"What's the tally?" Katara asked the warrior in a whisper.

"Fifteen men and nineteen women left," Suki answered. They jumped slightly when a shot of fire went up from the direction Katara had just come, forming a blazing plus sign in the air. "Make that fourteen men."

_That must've been the person Sokka caught_, Katara thought to herself.

Whenever a mask was stolen, it was taken to a nearby committee member who shot a symbol in the air for the talliers; circles for women and plus signs for men.

"I saw Sokka and Aang a minute ago," she informed the older girl, taking her eyes off the burning symbol.

Suki nodded in acknowledgement. "Toph is in the theater district, tripping anyone who gets too close."

Katara smiled at that. "Where's Zuko?" she asked curiously.

"Right here," a voice announced from the shadow of the chimney directly to Katara's left.

Both girls jumped again and whirled around to see a red mask appear under the moonlight. "Spirits, Zuko!" Katara whispered, clutching her chest, "What are you doing up here?"

"Crashing your roof party," he answered flatly.

Two more flares went up at opposite ends of the town then, both circles. "Seventeen women," Suki observed.

Katara crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Zuko judgingly. "How many have you taken down?"

"Eight men and four women," he answered.

"That's our firebender," Suki said, nodding approvingly.

Two circles and plus sign appeared a couple streets North of them. Fifteen women and thirteen men.

Zuko looked up at the blazing symbols, his face unreadable behind the mask. "About even now," he muttered to himself, "I'll have to take out more men."

"More men?" Katara asked, confused, "Shouldn't you be going for both?"

"I'm removing the competition," he answered absently.

"What are you going to do if it's just you and Aang and Sokka left?"

He was silent for a moment, then he said, "That depends."

"On what?"

Zuko didn't answer. Instead, he moved to the edge of the roof and peered down at the street below. Throwing a glance back at them, he said, "Keep to the roofs." Then he disappeared over the edge.

They did just that. Slinking around over everybody's heads like a couple of puma-leopards and watching the competition get taken out one by one. It was almost too easy, and Katara felt a little like they were cheating, but the thought of all the supplies they could get with the prize money dulled her guilt.

It wasn't long, however, before the women's tally decreased to the point where the remaining men started to become suspicious. There were only three women left now, and Katara would bet her water skins that the third was Toph. It had been that way for a good ten minutes, and the men below had begun vocalizing their confusion as to why none of them could be found. It got to a point where the remaining men had resorted to forming alliances in order to find them.

As another pair walked below, Suki frowned. "That makes five," she observed worriedly, "There are only seven men left now, which means that at least one of ours is out."

Katara frowned as well. It was probably Sokka. Participants not being allowed to bend had leveled the playing field quite a bit for him, but Aang was very nimble and good at escaping, and Zuko was a sneaky panther-shark. Out of the three of them, her brother would be the least likely to get away. But then again, Sokka was very clever and innovative. It was a hard one to call.

Two plus signs appeared over the marketplace, and Katara hoped it was one of the enemy teams being taken out and not their own. In any case, that brought the men's tally down to five.

There was a loud cheer from the square. Evidently they were now in the last legs of the game.

Katara looked at Suki and nodded, and they began heading for the theater district. If Toph was really the only other female left, then they may as well regroup. They already had half of the prize money in the bag. Oddly, they didn't encounter any red masks as they moved along the town, but the reason for that soon became apparent, as a flare shot up in the direction they were heading and the flames formed into a circle.

"They got Toph," Suki whispered in amazement.

"They must've ganged up on her," Katara concluded, narrowing her eyes at the blazing circle.

Another flare went up and joined the circle, and Katara bet it was Aang, Sokka or Zuko getting revenge for Toph.

"We should find our boys and see if we can help them out," Suki said, turning back to her.

She nodded and they kept moving. Yet another flare went up in the theater district, and they stealthily ran toward it, darting between shadows. Katara was reminded of her escapades as the Painted Lady and, more recently, her field trip with Zuko. It was thrilling, sneaking around under, or in this case, over, everyone's noses. It made her feel wonderfully dastardly.

Just before they could reach the Ember Island Theater, they were halted by a big, beefy man popping up right in their path. They gasped and the man eyed them triumphantly through the eyeholes in his bright red mask. "There you are!" he announced gleefully, "Two little minx-kits, hiding all the way up here. No wonder none of us could find you." He puffed out his chest, clearly proud that he had figured out their strategy. "Now then, which of you two lovely ladies wants to be my Svaha?"

"_Your_ Svaha?" another voice came from their left and they all turned to see an even bigger man clambering onto the shingled rooftop. He stood up straight and pointed at his chest with a large thumb. "I think you mean _my_ Svaha."

Katara and Suki looked at each other briefly, and they didn't need to see the other's expression to know what they were thinking. There were only three men left now, which meant that unless the last guy was Sokka, Zuko or Aang, their team was down to two.

Katara shook her head. There was no way all of their boys had been caught. The last man had to be one of their own. She straightened up and faced both men, putting her hands on her hips confidently. "Sorry, gentlemen, but we already have an Agni lined up."

The first man tilted his head to the side and crossed his arms. "That so? Well, plans _do_ change."

Katara and Suki took that as their cue to cheese it. The men gave chase as they sprinted back in the direction of the plaza. Luckily, their pursuers weren't quite as in shape and they quickly fell behind.

Their victory was short lived, however, as they made it to the brightly lit square and found that there were no more buildings to jump to. A few festival goers noticed them and began pointing and hollering, and soon the entire plaza was hooting like spectators at an earth rumble match.

There was a collective gasp below, accompanied by numerous fingers pointing in Katara's direction. Suki followed their fingers and her eyes widened. "Katara, look out!"

Katara dodged just in time as the larger of the two men lunged at her. Unfortunately, the assault gave the other man the opening he needed to charge in and take the distracted Suki's mask. There was a deafening cheer from the crowd as a blazing circle appeared in the sky above them. The man raised Suki's mask into the air waved it around, prompting even more cheering from the people below. Suki looked at back at her and gave her a congratulatory thumbs up before jumping down to join the throngs.

Now it was just her and the two men. They ignored her as they turned their attention on one another other. The man who took Suki's mask tossed it down into the crowd and took up a fighting stance. The other man did the same.

The crowd roared as they rushed at each other, however their charge was halted by a third figure jumping between them and shoving them both back with a pointy toed boot to each of their chests. The larger man fell onto his back and Zuko wasted no time snatching the mask from his face.

"Hey!" the man cried, but his protest was drowned out by cheering from the square. Katara grinned behind her mask. Of course Zuko was still in. He was a sneaky panther-shark, after all. Now that she thought about it, she would've been really disappointed if he'd been bested by some Ember Island schmuck.

Zuko turned to the last guy and dropped into a crouched stance, and Katara could tell he was sizing his opponent up.

The other man jerked a bit as he recovered from the impact of Zuko's foot and then fell into a stance of his own. "So, you're prince charming come to the rescue, eh?" he taunted gamely. "She your girlfriend or so something?"

"No," Zuko responded evenly.

"Good. Then to the best man go the spoils, am I right?"

_Spoils?_ Katara thought, confused. What did her being Zuko's girlfriend have to do with winning?

"Absolutely," Zuko replied in the same falsely cheerful voice he often used when he was being sarcastic with Aang. Then he shot forward like a loosed arrow, and before the man could even react, he was on his back and his mask was in Zuko's hand.

The festival goers erupted into cheers, and Katara thought she heard her brother's voice shout, "You da man, Jerkbender!"

The audience was parted by the festival committee, and the two of them were ushered off the roof and up onto the stage where the game had first been announced. Katara could see the rest of their friends gathered at the front of the crowd and she gave them a wave.

The announcer clasped her shoulder and positioned her so that she was facing the entire audience. "May I present this year's Svaha!" he cried enthusiastically, and there was a loud cheer from the audience, accompanied by several catcalls from the menfolk. "Just as Agni's beloved was the cleverest and trickiest of nymph's, this young lady has demonstrated her prowess by outlasting all of the other women here tonight."

He then gestured for Zuko to come closer and grasped his shoulder as well. "I also present this year's Agni!" he called, and the audience burst into cheers anew. "This young man has demonstrated our great god's unrivaled might and cunning by besting his fellow men in this most honorable of competitions."

The announcer took a step back then, and turned the two of them so that they were facing each other. Looking at Katara, he said, in a big, theatrical voice, "I ask you, Svaha, has this man proven himself worthy of your affections?"

Katara blushed a little behind her mask but played along. "He has."

The announcer nodded and turned to Zuko. "And Agni, do you recognize this woman as your beloved?"

Katara thought Zuko looked slightly nervous as he answered, "I do."

The announcer smiled widely and the audience cheered again. "Then, with the blessing of all those gathered here, bind her to you now as your chosen consort and exalted goddess."

Katara was only had a short moment to be confused by this before the audience began chanting, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Katara's eyes widened and her face heated up. She rounded on Zuko and he tilted his head at her apologetically. Had he known?

The chanting continued and Zuko took a step toward her. She wanted to protest and back out, but if she did, they might not get the prize money. Not to mention that she'd be stomping all over these people's tradition. And what if Zuko was offended by her refusal to kiss him? What if he took it personally? It's not like the idea of kissing him was horrible. She may have even fantasized about it once or twice – she was a healthy teenaged girl, after all – but she never thought it would actually happen, especially on a tall stage with an entire town and all of her friends watching. What would Aang think?

Zuko moved so that he was right in front of her, and she could almost feel the nervousness pouring off him. His uncertainty actually calmed her a little. She didn't feel so alone in this. The chanting grew louder and more insistent, and she swallowed as Zuko reached around and untied the ribbon holding her mask in place. _He's really going to do it!_

With the absence of the mask, Katara's peripheral vision returned and she was able to see the large crowd of people cheering them on. She saw her brother and Suki, both looking entertained, Toph, looking disappointed, probably because she couldn't see, and Aang, who was staring up at her anxiously, as though pleading with her not to do it. She quickly looked away from him.

"He likes you, doesn't he?" Zuko asked softly, so that he wouldn't be overheard.

She nodded.

"I'm sorry." He lifted his mask, revealing the lower half of his face, and brought his head down to press his lips against hers. The people below erupted into a cacophony of whooping and whistling, but Katara barely heard them. Funnily, her first thought when his mouth touched hers was of the fact that her kissing experience seemed to consist primarily of forced smooches. Mostly initiated by Aang. Was is too much to ask that she get to be a willing participant in her own kisses? Her second thought was that being a willing participant with Zuko might not be so bad.

Letting instinct take over, she closed her eyes and tilted her head to press her mouth more firmly against his. There. Now it felt a bit more like a team activity. Feeling Zuko's lips on hers and smelling his male scent was a bit exhilarating, and suddenly she had this ridiculous urge to open her mouth and taste him. Luckily, she was brought back to her proper senses by Toph's irate voice shouting over the din, "What's going on? Did they do it? Somebody answer me before I break all your kneecaps!"

She opened her eyes and pulled sharply away, covering her mouth with her hand. Zuko hastily repositioned the mask, but she could see his golden irises twinkling at her through the narrow eyeholes.

The announcer started burbling on about something or another and a good-sized bag of coins was deposited into each of their arms, but Katara wasn't paying attention. And judging from the way Zuko was staring at her, he wasn't either.

A pleasant tingle ran up her spine, and suddenly she couldn't wait to get back to the beach house and trump up a few festive activities of her own.

oO0Oo

I know, I know. You were all hoping for the next installment of the body-swap fic, and instead I gave you this cheesy and completely predictable bum-strap of a story. I assure you that it's coming. I just haven't had the time to write anything actually worthwhile. Believe me. In fact, I'll be sleeping on a bench in the Phoenix airport for the next 9 hours. Woohoo! Doin' Christams Eve in style this year. It'll be okay, though. I've got a bag of fresh cookies and an endless supply of free wifi.

Merry Christmas!

(Gawd, I am so friggin tired right now)


	14. Stranger

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 14

Stranger

A part of Zuko had always been a little curious about children. Not that he was planning on having any any time soon–he was only seventeen, and as of three months ago, he was no longer even in a relationship–but the idea of them intrigued him. Maybe it was because his own childhood was so outside the norm, seeing the children of the Southern Water Tribe running around and playing, grinning and giggling, it captivated him.

During the course of his visit to Katara and Sokka's home, Zuko developed a habit of watching the water tribe children when his friends were busy. He would stand at an inconspicuous distance and just observe them as they played in the snow and invented amusing little games. Sometimes he wished he could join them; learn what was so fascinating about pretending to be a mother or a father or a sister or a brother in a make-believe family; make forts and throw snowballs; build lopsided snow-people and pretend to have tea with them.

A few times, he'd caught Katara playing with them. The little boys and girls loved to make her the mother in their families. They would all compete with each other to try and impress her, saying, "Mom loves _me_ more!" and "Nuh uh! Look at this, mom!", and every time, Katara would make a big show of considering who her 'favorite' was, but in the end, she always found a way to choose all of them, taking care to make each child feel special. At first, Zuko thought it was silly; clearly _that_ girl had built a better snow castle than that other girl, but he soon realized that comparing the children wasn't really the point. It wasn't about about being the most talented and winning Katara's love, it was about having fun and trying to impress their role model. In time, it became one of his favorite games to watch.

It was about two weeks into his visit that Zuko finally caved and approached the merry gaggle of youngsters. He picked a little girl building a tiny snowman a small ways from the others and kneeled down next to her. "That's nice," he commented, pointing at the snowman with a gloved hand. The little girl didn't respond, so he tried again. "You're very good at making these," he said, trying to sound as friendly as he could. "Do you build them a lot?"

This time the little girl looked up at him with a frown on her face. "Mommy told me not to talk to strangers," she told him frankly.

Zuko's shoulders drooped at her barefaced dismissal. "Oh," he said a little dejectedly, "I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone."

He stood to go, but he was stopped by a tug at the edge of his parka. He glanced down to see the child's little blue mitten fisted around the material. "What's your name?" she asked.

Zuko was confused. "I thought you couldn't talk to strangers," he reminded her.

The little girl rolled her eyes like he was the one not making sense. "If you introduce yourself, you won't be a stranger anymore, dummy."

He blinked down at her, thrown by both her reasoning and her request of introduction. Sure, she'd probably seen a few Fire Nation visitors since the end of the war, but his scar should make it pretty obvious who he was. He pointed at himself and said, "I'm Fire Lord Zuko, Katara and Sokka's friend."

"Fire Lord? You?" she said, raising an eyebrow at him, "You don't look very Fire Lordy. Where's your crown?"

"My crown?"

The little girl nodded. "You can't be a king if you don't wear a crown."

Zuko touched his unbound hair. He'd seen no reason to keep it in its topknot when he was just hanging out with friends. Plus, the shaggy locks helped keep his ears warm in the frigid climate. "Chief Hakoda doesn't wear a crown," he pointed out.

"That's because he's a Chief. Chiefs don't wear crowns."

Ah, child logic. "Well, Fire Lords don't always wear crowns either," he informed her a tad petulantly. "Anyway, you haven't given me your name."

"I'm Enka," she said, pointing at her chest. "I'm six years old."

Zuko was a bit thrown by this bit of unsolicited information. "Oh, six. That's, uh, a good age."

This seemed to be the right thing to say, as Enka smiled up at him and proceeded to introduce him to all of the other children. Some of them were a bit wary of him at first, since he was very clearly Fire Nation, but hearing that he was a friend of Sokka and Katara's seemed to be enough to endear him to them. They were especially fascinated by his firebending, and they made a game out of building little snowmen and having him destroy them with fireballs. The little boys would make over-the-top exploding noises whenever one of the snowmen was hit and dance around, stomping their feet like little monsters.

"Zuko! There you are," Katara called, jogging over.

Zuko blushed at being caught doing such childish things. "Oh, uh, hey Katara."

"Katara! Katara!" the children exclaimed with joy. "Come play with us!"

Katara laughed. "You don't mind, do you Zuko?"

The young Fire Lord rubbed the back of his head. "Of course not."

The children wasted no time, jumping right into their game. Katara immediately became the "mommy", and they fell all over themselves to please her, like they always did.

"So, you finally decided to step in," Katara commented to him as the kids wrestled around in the snow.

"What do you mean?" he asked, observing the tiny people in their play.

She smiled knowingly. "I've seen you watching them. Have you been struck by baby-fever or something?"

Zuko whipped his head around to look at her, blushing. "Wha-? No!"

Katara smacked his arm affectionately. "I was just kidding. You take everything so seriously."

Zuko looked down at his lap, fiddling with his mittened hands self-consciously. "I was just curious, is all. These kids are very different from how I was when I was growing up. They're so free ...and happy." He sighed. "I guess... Maybe I just want to know what their secret is."

Katara laid a hand on his shoulder and smiled gently. "The secret is a loving family and lots of friends."

"I see." Perhaps that was it. Zuko hadn't had either of those things.

He felt a tug and looked down to find a scruffy-headed little boy attached to the end of his parka. "You're the dad, okay?" the child informed him, his tone suggesting that the decision was final, whether Zuko approved it or not.

Zuko blinked down at him.

"You're the dad, okay?" he repeated, giving Zuko's parka another tug.

"...Okay."

The boy nodded seriously and then grabbed his hand, pulling him over to a vacant section of snow. "Watch me build," he ordered, plopping down onto the ground using his hands to pat the snow into a pile.

Zuko stood over him awkwardly, unsure of what he supposed to do. Was he meant to help the kid? Should he sit down and build something too? Was there something he was supposed to say? He looked to Katara for help, but she just smiled back at him, crossing her arms.

He turned his attention to the dinky snow blob the child was carefully patting with a look of utmost concentration on his little face. "Um, so what are you making?" he asked conversationally.

"I'm making a polar bear dog," the boy answered, his attention not leaving his project.

"Oh," Zuko said, trying to sound supportive, "It looks... very nice."

"It's not nice," the boy declared, frowning at him. "See?" he pointed to a second blob of snow next to it, "It's eating this man. Raaar!" he flung a handful of snow up into the air to accentuate his roar.

Zuko heard Katara laugh behind him.

"Daddy," another voice called, latching onto his hand. This time it was girl. She pulled him over to where a few of the other kids were playing, pointing to a slightly older boy with his hair pulled back in a wolf tail. "Nuka won't marry me," she complained, shooting the boy a glower.

"Why should I?" the boy, Nuka, fired back, crossing his arms, "You're too bossy."

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

The girl turned back to Zuko and jutted out her bottom lip. "I'm not bossy, right?"

Zuko didn't know how to answer that. "Um, well... even if you are, that's not necessarily a bad thing," he said, scratching the back of his head. "Sometimes being bossy just means you care."

The girl smiled at that.

"Well I don't like bossy girls," Nuka stated huffily.

"You'll learn to," Zuko said without thinking. "Uh, I mean, you'll discover a lot of things about girls that you didn't think you'd like."

"Like what?" he asked skeptically. Some of the other boys had gathered around to listen as well.

"Like her temper, her stubbornness, her need to be right all the time, her skin co–" he abruptly stopped himself by clearing his throat. "Er, what I'm saying is, you shouldn't brush someone off right away. You don't have to marry them, but it doesn't hurt to give them a chance."

When he finished, the boys were looking up at him with awe, and the girls with stars in their eyes. Zuko shifted uncomfortably under their gazes and clapped his mittened hands together suddenly, announcing, "Who wants to play tag?"

One of the boys raised his hand and said, "I'll be 'it'!" and then all of them were running off in separate directions, giggling like mad people. Zuko sighed in relief and turned around to go back over to Katara, only to find her standing right behind him.

She smiled sweetly. "You'll be a good father, Zuko," she told him sincerely, then she stood up on her tippy toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Zuko felt his face flush hotly and smiled dopily as he watched her jog off to join the kids in their game.

No, he didn't have baby-fever. But he was beginning to think that having kids of his own wouldn't be such a horrible thing.

oO0Oo

* * *

Alright, so this one was more fluffy than humorous, but I was in the mood. Don't judge me!

Body-Swap part four is coming up next. It's already ninety percent finished. Just gotta write the last part and then edit it. It'll probably be up later tonight or tomorrow.

Sorry I took so long to update. I know ZM is long over now. ^^;

I hope you enjoyed your holidays, and I'll see you again here in a little bit.

Ciao!


	15. Separate

And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Day 16

Separate

(Body Swap Part 4)

Lunch was awkward. Well, for them, anyway. It didn't seem like Suki had told anyone, but she kept sneaking them secretive glances and knowing smiles, and they felt it was only a matter of time before she opened her mouth.

When they made it through lunch incident free, Katara thought they might actually have dodged an arrow. That is, until her brother strode up to her with an odd glint in his eye and said, "Zuko, I need to talk to you."

Katara exchanged a quick, fearful look with Zuko before resignedly following her brother out of the dining room.

"So," Sokka said as soon as they were out of earshot of the others, throwing an arm around her shoulders, "What did you and Katara do while we were out?"

"W- what do you mean?" she asked, playing ignorant.

When he spoke next, it wasn't what she was expecting to hear. "Well, you both seemed rather adamant about staying behind, and you've been spending a lot of time together today... I just thought you might've finally made your move." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"What are you...? My move?"

"You know, on Katara. You may remember her as the girl you're _desperately_ _in love_ with."

Katara took a swift step back and looked at her brother incredulously. "Zuko's not– I-I mean, I'm not in love with Katara! What are you saying?"

Sokka raised a skeptical eyebrow and crossed his arms. "So now you're back to denying it? I thought we'd moved past this."

"We... what?" Katara said, feeling utterly lost.

"In any case, that's not what I brought you out here to talk about."

"It's not?"

"Nope. See, I found something very interesting while digging around in one of the second story closets earlier, and as a fellow man, I thought you deserved to share in this wondrous discovery."

He lead her to his room and gestured to two piles of scrolls resting on his bed, all neatly tied with crimson string and stamped with black crosses. "This one's mine," he said, gesturing to one of the piles. "The other is all yours, bro. I'd give some to Aang, but I don't think he's quite ready yet, _if you know what I mean_."

Katara did not. Was there some significance to these scrolls that she was missing? To mask her ignorance, she nodded and said, "Yeah, Aang's not, uh, manly enough?"

Sokka winked and deposited the second pile of scrolls into her arms. "This will be our little secret." Then he shoved her out the door with a final, "Enjoy."

Katara stood outside the door for a long moment, just holding the scrolls in confusion. What was that about?

Her curiosity overtook her, and she carried her bounty back to Zuko's room to inspect. What was so special about these scrolls, that Sokka would act so secretive? Were they sappy romance scrolls that he was embarrassed about the others finding out he read? But if that were the case, why would he give them to Zuko? Were they both closet sappy romance fans or something?

She laid the scrolls on the bed and proceeded to untie one of them. Sure, Sokka had been clear that this was between him and Zuko, but she was the one he gave the scrolls to. And technically, she _was_ Zuko at the moment...

Her eyes nearly popped out of her skull when she saw the contents of the scroll. It was a highly detailed drawing of a busty young woman lying provocatively on the ground with her legs spread wide, completely nude.

Disgusted, she rolled the parchment back up and tossed it away from her. What was her brother...? Did Zuko look at stuff like this? Was that how the two of them got their jollies? She shook her head, trying not to get too worked up. From the sounds of things, Sokka just discovered these, and she knew her brother wasn't carrying anything like this around with him during their travels. And Zuko really didn't seem like the type... although, what did she know about his tastes, anyway? He was the one group member whose stuff she didn't help manage. His pack could be full of distasteful paraphernalia.

No, Zuko was many things, but a pervert wasn't one of them. Had he even had a girlfriend? He didn't seem very interested in girls or dating.

_You know, on Katara. You may remember her as the girl you're desperately in love with._

She shook her head again. Sokka was imagining things. She and Zuko were just friends. Zuko certainly didn't think anything more than that of her, she was positive.

_So now you're back to denying it? I thought we'd moved past this._

Despite herself, she reached for another scroll and tentatively unrolled it. This one depicted a man and a woman artfully painted on top of a mat, their clothing askew in such a way that _everything_ was visible. The man was holding one of the woman's... _chestular assets_ from behind with one hand while the other held her thighs open for his rather exaggeratedly proportioned... _part_'s ease of access. It was disgusting and indecent, but at the same time Katara couldn't pull her eyes away. It was like a magnetic force and she was helpless before it's bawdiness.

She made to shift her position, and that's when she noticed that a rather distinct part of Zuko's anatomy had begun to react to the pictures. Katara froze in horror, the scroll still hanging from her hand. _Oh spirits! Oh spirits! Oh Tui and La! _She tossed the scroll back into the pile without even bothering to roll it back up snatched a pillow from the head of Zuko's bed. She then proceeded to shove her face in it and make a completely unmanly squealing noise.

oO0Oo

* * *

Zuko was concerned. What had Sokka wanted to talk to him about? What was he telling Katara right now? Whenever the other boy pulled him aside, it was usually to discuss...

He felt the blood drain from his face. _Oh no. _What if Sokka wanted to talk about–

"Hey, Katara."

Zuko looked up from where he'd been unconsciously clenching his hands on the tabletop and saw Aang bouncing somewhat nervously on the balls of his feet next him. "Yes, Aang?"

"I was just wondering... do you maybe want to go waterbend with me?"

Zuko tried not to make a face at that request. "I uhh... don't think I'm up for it right now," he said apologetically. "I didn't sleep well, and all."

Aang looked disappointed for a brief moment, then he perked up again and said, "Well, how about just playing on the beach, then? I've been working on my sand sculptures. I can make a pretty good Appa."

The young airbender looked so hopeful, Zuko couldn't find it in himself to say no. "Sure. Let's go build sand bison," he said resignedly.

They walked out onto the beach and Aang chattered cheerfully, impelling Zuko's involvement by finishing his sentences with tag questions like "right?" and "don't you think?" Zuko wondered what had gotten into his young friend. Aang wasn't usually like this... attention seeking.

They found a spot near the ocean, and Aang immediately busied himself by bending heaps of wet sand into a large, bison shaped mound. Zuko watched as he used his hands to pat it down and shape the finer details. When he was done, he turned back to Zuko and put his hands on his hips proudly. "What do you think?"

Zuko had to give him credit, the sand-sculpture was quite good. "It's great."

Aang puffed up his chest proudly. "See, that's one of the things I like about you, Katara. You appreciate fine art."

Zuko blinked and scratched the back of his neck. "Er, yeah."

The younger boy blushed then and clasped his hands behind his back, looking up at Zuko bashfully. "Actually, there are a lot of things I like about you," he confessed. "You're pretty and smart and nice and a super good friend..."

Zuko paled as he realized where this was going. _Oh no. Oh no no no._

"...And I just thought you should know that I think you're really special."

Aang took a step forward and Zuko responded by taking a step back. "Um, thanks, Aang. I really appreciate that but–"

He was cut off by Aang's mouth rising to meet his.

Zuko's eye's widened and his whole body stiffened. His brain fzz'd a few times and then went blank briefly before coming back online in overdrive. Aang kissing... kiss... man... kissed by a man. _Oh Ran and Shao. Oh spirits. _

His mental faculties returned and he shoved Aang roughly away. "What are you doing?" he screeched, his whole face and neck burning.

Aang looked surprised and a little hurt. "Kissing you."

"I know that!" Zuko exclaimed, wiping his mouth on his arm, "I just... you..." he struggled to find the right words. "You can't do that!" he said finally, before turning on his heel and running off back toward the house.

Aang watched him go, stupefied. "What's up with her?"

oO0Oo

* * *

Zuko did what any teenage girl would do after having a kissed forced on her, he ran to his room.

He soon realized that he was not alone. The moment he opened the door, he heard a yelp from his bed, and he looked over to see himself lying on his stomach on top of the covers amidst a scattering of scrolls, a pillow pressed into his face.

"Katara!" Zuko shut the door behind him and hurried across the room to share his tale of woe with her.

"This isn't what it looks like!" she cried as he approached.

That stopped him. Wasn't what _what_ looked like? He took a moment to digest the scene in front of him, Katara lying on her stomach, the pillow, the scrolls... He picked up one of the scrolls, despite Katara's desperate pleas of "wait!" and "don't!", and unrolled it.

He dropped it a half second later, horrified.

"I told you not to," Katara groaned from behind his pillow.

"Katara, what on earth? Where-?"

"Sokka found them and gave them to me. I was curious, so I looked, and now..."

"And now, what?"

She pushed her face even harder into the pillow, but Zuko could see that tip of his good ear was bright red. She shook her head and said, "...Never mind."

Suddenly it clicked; her position, her blush, her hesitancy to talk about it, he had gone through all of that himself, back when he was first entering adolescence.

_Oh, for the love of..._ Could this day possibly get any more embarrassing for him?

There was only one way to deal with this. The same way his uncle had helped him deal with it when he was going through it for the first time.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and put hand on Katara's shoulder in what he hoped came off as an understanding gesture. "Listen Katara," he began, "I know what you're going through right now, and it's perfectly natural..."

"Nothing about this is _natural_."

She had a point, there. "Okay, well, if you were a _boy_ this would be perfectly natural," he amended. "And you have to understand that there's nothing wrong with you. This reaction can be very hard to control. You will encounter plenty of pretty girls during..." he trailed off as he noticed the look Katara was giving him from around the pillow. Right, perhaps delivering his uncle's speech verbatim wasn't entirely necessary. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Anyway, uh, it's nothing to be embarrassed about, and uh..."

"Just tell me how to fix it, Zuko," she said exasperatedly.

"Well, uh, there are a number of ways... but, um, most of them probably aren't going to appeal to you."

"Then give me the ones that _will_."

"There's really only one," he admitted, "You have to get turned off."

"How do I do that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, think of something that repulses you. Something as unsexy as possible."

"Like Sokka's dirty socks?"

"Sure. Whatever works."

Katara screwed her–his–face up in concentration, and Zuko tried his best not to think too much about what she was attempting to do. Of all the people to give the puberty talk to... he sighed and absently rubbed her shoulder.

"Um, could you stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"Touching me. You're kind of making it worse. Somehow."

Zuko blushed and hurriedly removed his hand from her shoulder. She was getting turned on by him? But he was in her body... Wait, could it be his own body's natural reaction to hers? Agni knew how much trouble he had controlling himself around her on the best of days.

A couple moments later, Katara looked back up at him and said, "I think it's fixed."

_Fixed_. She made it sound like he was broken. "Yay."

"Anyway, what was it you were going to say before?" she prodded, finally sitting up to talk to him like a normal person.

Memories of Aang and the beach came flooding back. Zuko blushed and glanced back at the door cautiously. Satisfied that nobody was on the other side and he wouldn't be over heard, he turned back to Katara said, "Aang kissed me."

She looked back at him blankly. "What do you mean, kissed you?"

"I mean he stuck his face in mine and kissed me!" he responded, wondering what other meaning there could possible be.

Katara's eyes traveled down his face to rest on his lips briefly, and then back up to his eyes again. She brought a hand to her own mouth and let out a snorty sound.

"Katara?"

The sound was followed by another, and then another, and then she was laughing. Holding her arms and laughing at him like a tickled hyena-dog.

Zuko scowled at her. "It's not funny!"

Katara forced herself to stop, putting a hand on his shoulder to steady herself. "I'm sorry, Zuko," she said, wiping a tear from her eye, "I know it's no fun when a person kisses you against your will. It's just.." she looked at his face and giggled again, slapping her palm to her mouth to stifle the noise. "_Aang kissed you_."

Zuko was about to say something snippy back, but then her words registered in his brain. "Wait, you know?"

His frown deepened as Katara blushed and looked down at her lap. "Aang kissed me before. On the day of the invasion."

Zuko felt his heart sink in his chest. "He... he did?" Why had nobody mentioned this to him? Why hadn't Sokka...? Sure, he knew Aang had a crush on her, but to think he'd already gotten there first... Zuko's jaw tightened.

"Yeah. Right before he flew off to find your father. We haven't really talked about it at all since then, and I kinda thought he'd forgotten about it, or gotten over it, or something."

Zuko felt a spark of hope ignite within him. "So... you're not together?"

She shook her head.

He sighed in relief.

Katara bit her lip and looked at him like she wanted to say something, but when she spoke, it was to ask, "What did you do? When he kissed you, I mean."

He ran his hand through the hair at the back of his head and looked away from her embarrassedly. "...I ran away."

"You didn't say anything?" she prodded.

"I told him he couldn't do that."

Katara sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Not how I would've handled it, but I suppose it's for the best. Someone was going to have to say that to him eventually. I just hope he didn't take it too hard."

Honestly, Zuko didn't know how he'd taken it. He'd run off too quickly to find out. He felt a little bad for possibly putting Katara in an awkward position with Aang, but he didn't think his reaction was that unreasonable. You don't just kiss someone out of nowhere, especially when you don't even know how that person feels about you. Zuko would never do that.

Unbidden, an image of Katara looking up at him with a sweet smile entered his mind, her cheeks flushed from bending practice and her lips pulled up enticingly. Okay, he would _probably_ never do that.

At least, he would _try_ not to do that.

Switching topics, he pointed at the pile of naughty scrolls, "What are you going to do about those?"

She turned to look at them as well. "What do you mean me? They're your scrolls."

"_I_ don't want them," he denied.

"Really? Because Sokka seemed to think you'd be _very interested_ in them."

"I don't want them," he repeated insistently, blushing at her insinuation.

"Then what are we going to do with them?" she asked, raising her arms inquiringly.

Zuko thought for a moment and then smirked slightly.

"Ready for some more firebending practice?"

oO0oo

* * *

There it is, Body-Swap part 4. A big thank you to **ShoeNinja** for providing me with so many wonderful ideas for this chapter.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It's extra long, to make up for making you all wait so long. I still want to continue this, but I can't tell you when the next part will be up. TCA is my number one priority, and I've been neglecting it for too long.

Yeah, I know I skipped Wonderland. I probably could've written something pretty good for that prompt, but I would've felt bad making you all wait even longer.

Till next time!


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